You met him when you were fragile, and in that moment you swore he was the strength you needed. He gave you love and comfort, at least during those times. However, time passes, people change, and circumstances are as permanent as leaves falling in a cold October morning.
He gave you chills, the type that used to give life to the butterflies in your stomach. However, those butterflies became dragons. They devoured your insides, and slowly, they sent blazing flames, balls of red fire, straight to your heart.
You swore that you would leave him, that the torment and torture he induced were never suited for someone like you. However, he had this effect on you. You were the submissive south, and he was the dominant north. You were always drawn to him. Willingly. Helplessly. No matter how far you tried to stray, you kept on coming back to him, and each reunion was fiercer than the last.
You hated yourself, because you knew what to do. Your rational side knew what to do. But that tiny voice at the back of your mind was your enemy, he kept on telling you that you were in the right place, at the right time. You listened to him, to that little voice, and just like your lover — he betrayed you.
You were betrayed, but you believed otherwise. You were scared to confront him, and for the first time in your life, you were genuinely scared of hearing the truth. You were scared, because you knew that the truth would break you. That knowing the real story would send you to a dark place.
Hell, maybe? A dungeon that housed tormented souls? A dark cave that housed the world’s vast collection of shattered dreams and broken hearts?
You tried to play deaf and blind. However, just like all the truth before this one, you knew that it would reveal itself. And when it finally did, you weren’t prepared. Or at least you pretended that you weren’t prepared.
You fought the emotions, you tried to suppress the tears, but he left. That one love that you thought would never leave you, he left.
The strength that he initially provided crumbled to pieces, it crumbled right in front of you. You were surprised by how damaged you actually were. You were dumbfounded by the thought that you were actually back to the fragile state you were initially in, maybe worse.
You swore never to love again, or maybe not to love until you were finally whole. However, a part of you missed your lover’s kiss, the warmth of another human being’s embrace, and the security of being loved.
You just missed love.
You looked back at the bittersweet memories. You realized you were always living in hindsight. You hated it. You hated being sent to that dark place. However, you could not hate love.
You could never hate love. Ever.
You were hurt. Deeply. Madly. But you know that when the time comes, you’ll be willing to take that risk again. And by then, you will not be that fragile person who needed strength; rather, you will be the one whole person capable of sharing and experiencing the kind of love you deserve.