Have you ever felt suffocated by the feeling that no one loves you? The feeling where it’s 11:30 at night and you want someone to just hold you because you’re hurting; the feeling where you have no one, so you check your contact list and in those 350 contacts, you find no one who would understand you or even listen to you for that matter, the feeling where you’re not ready to listen to people telling you to just get up and do something about however you’re feeling.
Let me tell you something, STAY. Stay right there. No, don’t get up, don’t start calling people, don’t get yourself an ice cream, don’t. Yes, ice cream or alcohol or shopping or whatever else might make you feel a little better for some time, and it’s not wrong to go for temporary measures, but if it’s happening right now and you’re reading this, then stay here with me. If a tear is coming from your eye, allow it to come.
You feel numb, do you? Try and focus on this numbness when you might want to scream. Right now, you’re hurting and you’re a baby who needs to be loved and taken care of and I wish I could be there with you right now but because I’m not, catch hold of that pillow or yourself, and hug yourself. Just close your eyes for a moment and focus on your breathing, cry as much as you want to, because it takes courage to not escape.
Escapism means inviting patterns in your life which are so, so hard to break. Sometimes, you have no other option but to escape.
But at other times, when you feel so alone that you can barely even lift a finger, allow yourself to stay right there. You’ll have anxiety, you might want to run or do something about it because it’s so difficult to stay at one place when you’re in pain; when you are hurting.
But give yourself this affirmation: no matter what, I’ll be there for myself. I’ll hug myself and listen to my breathing consciously and whatever it is, I’ll feel it. I won’t run away from it; rather, I’ll feel it. With conscious efforts, I’ll smile again because, no matter how superficial it sounds, smiling does help.