I must say, you are the best thing that happened in my 2017. Amidst all the financial struggle and career doubts, you happened, and I must say, you are one of the reasons why I liked waking up early every morning, even on weekends. Those text message exchanges we had in the past four months, though we’ve known each other for more than a year, are the reason for my smiles.
It’s been a while since I stayed up ‘til midnight just to talk to someone. You became a special person to me, gradually, whom I can share my troubles and my thoughts, whom I can discuss anything with. Since we talked, I go to bed with a light heart and I no longer feel that empty, hollow feeling that I came to get used to.
What we have is nameless, but honey, this is much deeper than those who say they are a couple. You read my soul, and it is so surprising to me that someone can immediately figure out what I am thinking by just looking at me, considering that I am very good at hiding and faking emotions, or that’s what I want to believe.
You are a few people whom I am not afraid to look in the eye because I know that what you will see in that little window of my soul will be something that you will understand. I would say that I like you, an inch away from being in love, and that the past relationship that I’ve been through now seemed to me only a practice.
I know that you, yourself, are also a wounded soul, like I am. I guess that is one of the reasons why we gravitate to each other though we are people who are complete opposites. I guess that conversation we had in July showed that we have so much in common and that we can understand each even others can’t.
I know, that you are not yet ready for a relationship where we name it something. It is hard, I know, to answer their queries as to what is really going on between us. It is hard for the both of us, though we are both certain as to what we feel for each, yet we cannot proceed to that kind of commitment.
It hurts me, and I know it hurts you too. It will be too selfish of me to ask you to define this relationship when I know that you are facing a hard time, so I choose to love you in silence and stay beside you when you need someone to support you.
This is the only thing that I can do, because I truly care for you. If what we feel is sincere and real, then we will end up together; but if it is just attachment, we will both realize it in time. But for now, let me be the person whom you can depend on, as this is the only way I know I can love you.