Dating in today’s day and age is one of the most challenging aspects of our life. You think it would be easier with all the technology to meet new people, keep up to date, and not let distance tear you apart. Nonetheless, most people aren’t happy with their relationship choices.
How can people be happy with their relationships when they are “too busy,” “not emotionally available,” or “working on themselves” when it comes to committing to actual relationships. Countless times, people have told me they don’t want to settle down yet because they are “too young.”
Instead of settling down, we go on dating apps to talk because we’re bored. We hope someone will sweep us off our feet so we can get away from this never-ending flood of DMs, apps, and loneliness. Some people go to the club, find someone to go home with, and still end up alone in the morning. No wonder so many people struggle with anxiety and depression.
What do millennials need to know?
With this hookup /non-committal culture as the new medium, many people struggle to have a normal conversation with someone. It even becomes a challenge to know when you’ve met someone special because we’re too afraid that person could hurt us. As a cop out, we simply walk away and tell that person it isn’t going to work out. No wonder hooking up is easier because at least we do not have to go out of our way to speak to someone and come up with a conversation on the spot. We do not have to risk rejection.
As a millennial, everything I read points to millennials not wanting to have relationships and embracing the single life. We have hundreds of suitors at our fingertips so why would we want commitment when we can’t even decide what we are going to eat for dinner?
Perhaps we are so scared because, in the U.S, 50% of us are children of divorced parents, society glamorizes the single life, and worst of all, we do not want to be vulnerable as we could get hurt. Despite all of this, I have yet to meet a millennial who does not a committed relationship or marriage one day.
Knowing your priorities.
We all work so hard in our careers, taking great pride when we get a new job or a promotion. We have this quest for never-ending ways to remain satisfied, yet this tends to not be the same way we view relationships. We are even willing to go into debt for a college degree we may never use, yet we are not willing to read books, go to therapy, and learn about how to build a kickass relationship.
How could our priorities be so mixed up when it comes to what truly matters?
We carry baggage from our past relationships which can make us develop a flawed view of men and women. Even though it’s our nature, how fair is it to the future people we date if we only see them through the lenses we saw our previous partners? In addition, just because our parents were a specific way or our past relationships ended up breaking our hearts does not mean we are destined for that once again.
What is a good relationship?
Marriage should be forever. No one goes into marriage or a committed relationship thinking they will break up or fail. Why do we work our asses off at the beginning of a relationship just too slowly lose our energy, get bored, break up, and start the cycle all over again?
A good relationship isn’t just about the fun times and good sex. There is much more to being fully committed which requires hard work. Some of these dating problems may seem trivial, yet the best time to prepare for a great relationship is before you get into one.
Are you willing to look away from the past and take a chance on someone? Who knows, you may come across someone who deserves you and will be totally into you.