Everyone wants to have sex. You go through the formalities of getting to know someone, asking them questions, spending time with them, then eventually having sex. Perhaps, you might be someone who does this in the opposite order starting with sex. Most millennials are more comfortable having sex with someone than truly opening up their mind to someone.
We should be having sex with someone’s thoughts, yet why does this seem to be so challenging? Perhaps it is easier to get physically naked than emotionally naked. Perhaps, we are scared to let someone into our life and have them see how messed up we are.
It has become easier to get on a dating app, meet someone at a bar, and ask superficial questions such as “What’s up” or “How are you doing” when the answers to these questions tend to be a lie or boring. Not many people who are asked these questions will jump out and say the truth about how great their day was and why or how shitty their day was and why.
If someone says their day was okay, ask why it was okay and not great. If you notice a necklace around their neck, ask if the necklace has any special meaning to them. Most people are dying to be heard and understood, so think about having emotional sex with them instead of physically.
Go up to that cute girl or guy and talk about each other’s problems, aspirations, and successes. Talk about what really matters to each of you because Game of Thrones or the latest office gossip is something you could go without.
Be the person who has had sex so many times with the other person’s thoughts that you feel an instantaneous connection with them.
It is crazy when you hear someone pour their heart into the conversation. This will make you more memorable than any one-night stand. When you aim to make love with someone’s mind, you automatically become different. In a world where people are scared to ask the hard questions and dig a little deeper, you must be the one who does. Most people are willing to talk about anything so just ask.
It is sexy to be vulnerable and put yourself on the line regardless of how challenging this can be. Everyone has a lot going on in their life, yet most people will not go out of their way to tell you stuff that is truly important to them. You must ask them. Following this, ask deeper questions pertaining to the original question in order to get to the bottom of it.
Everyone fucks, yet not many people undress each other’s minds through the art of conversation. It is sexy to have conversations, and it is refreshing to have someone ask you questions you know other people have not had the courage to ask.
Next time you meet someone for the first time or go on a date with your long-term partner, make love to their thoughts. Dig deep into who they are, and make love to their feelings, views, desires, and hopes.