This Is Why You Feel Your Life Sucks

Clem Onojeghuo

Have you ever felt alone and perhaps depressed? If so, you are not alone. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, more than 15 million people above 18 are currently diagnosed with depression making it an epidemic. As someone who has gone to a psychologist for being in a dark place, I was puzzled when people would ask me why I felt so down since I was more connected than ever with “friends,” family, and social media.

Perhaps, if you are like me, you are too prideful to say anything about how you truly feel. Maybe all you want is to be alone and not be bothered because you think you can handle it on your own, but this is not the way we as human beings were designed. We were designed for community and to rely on other people, but many times we get lost throughout our life and believe we need no one.

We come into this world alone, but needing others. We depend on others for our very own survival because we cannot feed ourselves, clothe ourselves, or even walk. As time goes on, we still believe we need others because we are being taught to walk, feed ourselves (without making a mess), and driven places.

However, as we get older and begin to get individual recognition for our accolades, there is a sense of pride that overtakes us. Along with this, there is a belief we should go at life alone because we can get further and no one can stop us. This creates conflict in our minds because although we are aware we need people, we get worried about our future with applying to colleges, jobs, and more personal rewards so we begin to forget about our great need for experiencing human connection.

Let’s think about why we enjoy individual recognition. If it is anything like me, we enjoy it because we do not have the share the spotlight and as human beings, we are egocentric creatures. We want to accomplish our goals, our dreams, and take care of ourselves. The fascinating thing about our tendency to focus on ourselves is that the more you give, the more you receive.

Our tendency to be lone wolves and believe we do not need people is further seen when we use apps such as tinder. We are scared to go out and talk since if we get rejected, it will hurt our pride. We would rather talk to a stranger online instead of talking to them in person! How crazy is that? Perhaps, some of us only use these online apps because we only want companionship when we are lonely, but does it work in the long term or do you still feel alone?

We have become our greatest enemy because we convinced ourselves we could fight any battle alone and win, but the problem is that we cannot. We cannot fight and prosper alone and become a satisfied person because what is success if we reach it alone? Success is sweet and delicious when we have people to share it with because humans are meant to live in a community, not through a screen and alone.

Life is nothing without others. What I find interesting is many human beings believe family and love is important, but most human beings do not do what they know. They know what truly matters, yet they want the glory of being prosperous and feeling as though only they got themselves there. I have been this person along with meeting countless people who reached the pinnacle of success as society defines it, but yet they are not happy because they are alone.

We need to always be conscious of knowing we need people by our side and we can chase all the distractions in the world, but we will still be alone. TC mark

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