Loving You Might Have Been My Worst Mistake

You were my best nights. And my worst mistake.

I heard someone sang in my ear while we were kissing, “It might not hurt now, but it’s gonna hurt soon..” I tried to let that voice go, because.. damn it was so beautiful. I would give up my whole life for one pain being yours.

Because baby, I’m that crazy. I insanely need you to own me. I need that high you always gave me. I am your Audrey Horne. I always get what I want, but it is you I have to crawl to. I would dance. And dance. Because, isn’t it too dreamy?

You are my very favorite song from a shuffled playlist with a lyric that hurts me the most because the beauty is just too much. You are one of my sudden summers, and supposed to also be one of those who fly away without leaving any fur on my velvet sweater.

But you’re not one of those. Everything I ever touched, I ever smelled, I ever gazed from you, still lingers on me since you walked out my door, in a morning I never thought would not be the same mornings I’d had with kisses the night before.

You were that particular part of a broken record that keep repeating in a wedding party and gets stuck in my head the rest of the day, that I won’t be able to go to other weddings without having that specific tune haunting my head.

And for that I hate myself. For making another mistake.

For falling for those crystal blue eyes. Eyes that never saw mine the way I saw them. For again, being vulnerable in the arms of someone as treacherous as you. For craving for something I could never have. For being realized, that the reason why loss is sad because it was once so good.
For being in love. And not being loved back.

Say you let me in and I won’t leave you. Say you let me go and I won’t look back to you.