RomanceDating

Your Light Will Attract Everyone, Not Just Assholes

Naturally, when you have a positive disposition, there will be many who will be drawn to your presence. This is a blessing and a curse. The influx of people will create an opportunity to connect with those who are aligned with what you’re seeking in life, and you’ll also meet people who will teach you lessons about what does not serve nor elevate your soul. We won’t recognize nor have the language for these types of interactions when we are young, but we eventually differentiate between those who leave us feeling positive and full and those who leave us depleted and at a loss.

My light has attracted a range of people, but the ones who left a negative impact are the ones I chose to focus on for a very long time. My choice to assign blame, fall prey to overthinking, and allow my emotional door to stay wide open for those who have proven their unworthiness far too many times than I can count has caused more breakdowns than I want to admit, but acceptance is the first step.

Do you keep wondering why all of your self-work isn’t yielding the results you expected in the realm of dating and partnership? The journaling, vision board parties, crystals on your heart chakra, and Tantric yoga are wonderful, yet you still keep attracting these broken energy vampires who keep withdrawing from your spiritual bank while offering nothing to replace what is taken. Selfish assholes, right?

Here’s something to ponder: Who gave them access to your spiritual bank? When was the moment you realized you attracted a taker with nothing to offer you in return? We have to be honest about our intentions regarding love and what we say we want from love.

Love is an exercise in acceptance, patience, and discipline every single day, and we have to practice accepting ourselves as we are, patience for our personal growth, and the discipline to work on mind, body, and soul every day. Diving within ourselves with the sole intention of elevating for our own growth will be far more satisfying than putting our growth and development on hold to nurture a relationship that will undoubtedly fail because we discontinued our quest for personal acceptance, patience, and discipline.

Are you brokenhearted? You might be, but you don’t have to be forever. We have no control over how someone chooses to treat us, and while we can spend hours replaying what happened, it is simply a waste of time. You know you have this shining light inside of you, even though it may be dim right now.

It’s taken me a ridiculous amount of time to cease being the victim in my stories and to become the savior I’d been waiting for. The ability I have to create personal breakthroughs and the ability to cut myself down to pieces are on different sides of the same sword. Your light is your power, and you get to choose who you share it with. Yes, you’ll attract assholes, but you will also attract people who will love, honor and lift you up, though not before you do consistent work on yourself so you can choose the ones who are a match. You’re beautiful, you attract everyone, but you keep choosing assholes because you keep stopping your self-work to take care of their needs. Sit with that thought for a moment.

Love yourself enough to stick to your meal plan, workouts, mantras, affirmations, and the standards you’ve set for what you want in a partner. When you streamline your commitment to loving yourself so much that no one can shake your peace, I promise you’ll be able to discern who is in your life to love you for you and who is in your life to take from you. The more you invest in yourself, the more you’ll be adamant about who you allow into your personal peace. TC mark

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Wild Woman. Carefree Black Girl. Joyfully Audacious. Follow Arihat on Instagram or read more articles from Arihat on Thought Catalog.