RomanceDating

We Are All Entitled To Our Dating Preferences

Short guys are mad that some ladies don’t want to date them, big girls are mad because they are often excluded, skinny girls are mad because some guys want thick girls, skinny dudes are pissed because some girls want buff guys — the list of preferences go on forever.

People, you won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s okay. Everyone isn’t for everybody, and you know very well you have preferences too, and you do not want to be made wrong for liking who you like. I am not here to judge, because I have my own preferences and hang-ups based on valid reasons in my eyes.

I prefer my man to be at the very minimum 5’10. I am 5’8, and I believe it’s a fair preference! However, I have dated someone shorter than my minimum, and guess what? He was incredible.

I prefer beards. There is something sexy about a man with a goatee. It is a welcome addition to a handsome man’s face, and I love it. Have I dated a man with no beard? I sure have, and it was just fine.

With all that said, I think men can choose to date women based on pants size, dress size, bra size, height, weight, just as women can have their preferences. Dating means different things to different people, and I believe one should be free to choose a partner based upon their desires.

What have I learned about physical preferences? They are foolish and hold no merit whatsoever. I have come to realize the preferences that truly matter are the person’s fundamental principles. Are they a good human being? Are they kind? Generous? Patient? Family-oriented? Do they speak up in situations where a clear injustice is taking place? Are they animal lovers? There are simple nuances that make a person who they are, and those things have to align or at least work with mine. You could be 6’2 and look like Idris Elba, but if you support bigotry, we probably aren’t a match.

I like men who will support my quest to find all the IPAs that my heart desires. I prefer a man who will drive to me, pick me up, and take me home, because that’s what I believe gentlemen are supposed to do. I prefer men who will challenge me when I’m being ornery. I prefer dominant men who do not need to assert dominance aggressively. I have many particular sets of nuances and preferences that are unique to me, and I will align with the person who I am supposed to based on these preferences and some traits I may not even know I like.

Dating is about finding the right chemistry and going with the flow. We should all be able to do that freely without someone making us feel wrong for our preferences. Live and let live. TC mark

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Wild Woman. Carefree Black Girl. Joyfully Audacious. Follow Arihat on Instagram or read more articles from Arihat on Thought Catalog.