Take A Chance And Fall For Me

@NickBulanovv
@NickBulanovv

Fall for me. Fall for me the way you never thought you could fall. Slowly. A little more every day. Fall for me after we get off the phone and you think about how much you wish we didn’t get off the phone. Or in the morning after FaceTime has survived the night—when you wake up and see my face, but you don’t say a word because you want to take me in.

Fall for me when I leave the airport and you can feel your heart already missing me as we squeeze in one last kiss. Fall for me when we have a stupid argument because I’m exhausted, trying to sleep, and the light you needed while reading was responsible for keeping me up. Fall for me when you look in my eyes as I apologize and tell you I was wrong. When I tell you to come back upstairs because I don’t want to sleep without you.

Fall for me because I’ve opened my heart fully and let you in.

Because I put myself in the most vulnerable position I could ever be in. And because I let months go by wishing I could tell you how I felt, nights lying in bed overthinking about all the possible ways I could just say it. Watching moments pass where the silence was just right—the only sound, my beating heart growing louder. Faster. Knowing all along that you knew. Telling myself that would make it easier. It didn’t. Until the day it finally happened. The second the words left my mouth, the anxiety did too. I was able to breathe. As if someone had finally let go after a never ending game of tug-o-war.

You’ve opened your heart, but only enough so that part of me is left dangling from the edge. Only enough so that there’s room to push me out the minute you feel yourself falling.

Fall for me because pushing me out would mean giving up.

It would mean missing an opportunity to give and receive a love like you’ve never felt. I know there are reservations. That I can be a handful.

And you may think you know everything about me because I wear my heart on my sleeve. Because I make myself vulnerable. But please, don’t just think of me as the girl who has too many emotions. The girl who worries about everything and spends sleepless nights overthinking things she can’t control. I’m not only the girl who can’t contain her excitement when she sees a puppy the size of a teddy bear—voice squeaky, arms flailing, jumping up and down like a maniac. Or the girl who lets the little things bother her—who gets so frustrated when her eyeliner wing takes 20 minutes to get right, she nearly throws her entire makeup bag across the floor. Because I’m more than my emotions. I’m more than my flaws.

Fall for me because a year and a half ago I asked you to fight for me. And you did. You fought for us. Two years later you’ve become one of the best friends I could have ever asked for. We’re never going to be the couple who gets everything right—where everything is easy. But that’s okay. As long as you can accept that. As long as you can accept me for who I am, and know that I will never stop trying to be a better person. Because you make me want to be better. You are the brightest light in my life and I couldn’t be more thankful.

So, fall for me because passion and love rules my life. Because I’m also the girl who’s compassionate, kind, and gentle. Because when I love, I love with all of me. And if you give yourself a chance…if you give me a chance, it’ll be magical and horrible and intense and incredible all at once.

It won’t be perfect. But I can promise it’ll be worth every moment. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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