Let me start this by explaining to you that my ginger roommate was the one who forced me to write this article. I am pro-ginger (e.g. my love for Ed Sheeran burns through my soul). Please do not take offense to this article, because having a ginger roommate truly is the best. However, for anyone who can’t handle it, I apologize in advance for offending 1-2% of the world’s population.
1. They’re awesome.
Need I say more?
2. They’re a great conversation starter.
Thanks to my lovely roommate, the first Tinder tagline, and the only one that has stayed since the beginning is, “I have a ginger roommate. Gingers for life.” This usually goes one of two ways. I either get an overwhelming amount of ginger men who immediately love me and want me to marry them so I can help them produce (I’m pretty sure I have that recessive gene they need so very much) little ginger babies, or I get the douchey-college bros who judge me immediately (yet swipe right anyway) and claim that gingers are soulless (see below). Either way, it’s an icebreaker.
3. They’re always sarcastic.
Never again will you need to say the words “I was being sarcastic,” after every sentence that comes out of your mouth. Gingers are sarcastic little devils, so all conversations will be sure to confuse any innocent bystander as they overhear the two of you discussing the genius idea you had to open a meth lab in your apartment.
4. They come in all different shades.
From subtle strawberry to vibrant red, the possibilities are endless. Which ginger will you end up living with? (Hint: Mine is a stand out red-orangey one).
5. They’re part of a rare breed.
I’m sure you’ve all heard it. Gingers will eventually die out…I’m not sure I buy it, and it’s probably not even true, but redheads do account for only 1-2% of the world’s population. That’s an overwhelmingly small number. I think I might go kick my roommate’s door down now so I can hug her and tell her how lucky I feel to have her in my life.
6. They have no soul (so you don’t have to worry about offending them).
If I felt like it, I could literally go up to my roommate and tell her that I hope she falls off the side of a mountain while simultaneously pelting crumpled up pieces of paper, food, pebbles, or whatever was in my line of vision at her and she’d probably just sit there and shrug. Then, she would attack me with everything I threw in her direction.
7. You always know whose hair is in your food.
Or on the floor. Or in your sink. Or on your pillow. Or at your boyfriend’s house…three hours away.* You get the point. They can’t hide from it, so when you’re digging into your favorite meal the two of you made from scratch (kind of), you can count on them to look you in the eyes as you’re pulling their long, gross, never-ending red strand out and say, “Ew, whose hair is that?” And there’s that sarcasm again.
8. They’re brutally honest.
You’ll never feel more bad about yourself when you’re chilling on your couch and not writing your paper as they laugh, tell you that you’re probably going to fail at life anyway, and bask in your misery. They’ll always be there to force feed you cookies whilst calling you a fat-ass. But let’s face it, they make you re-evaluate your life choices and that can only lead to good things. Right?
9. Shit, I can’t think of any more reasons.
My roommate basically told me the first five or six reasons why she felt she was the best roommate ever, I expanded on those, and now she went to bed, and I’m all out. Why the hell did I even listen to her anyway?
10. Because gingers are sneaky and convincing.
You know that ice cream you didn’t really want to buy? You bought it anyway. Why? Because your roommate told you that you’ve earned it after all that hard work you did today taking all those Buzzfeed quizzes. You believed her. Did she just manage to trick you, convince you, and use sarcasm all at once so she could use it to her advantage later? Yep. Get used to it. Actually…never mind. Forget everything you read before. They’re not that great.
*Note: Said ginger has never actually been to said boyfriend’s house before. Ginger hair is all sorts of magical.