This might piss a lot of my exes off—as most articles about my exes do—but they know what they signed up for when they started dating a writer.
I’m a child of the internet, so I’ve never been one to keep my life too private. And I’d rather tell the whole world about me rather than the world tell me about myself. It’s one of those pride things where, “I’ve said the worst things about myself so that you can’t.”
When I write about my past relationships, it’s never to spread hate on them. After all, I loved these people at one point. Some of them, I still do. And for all of them, I really do want what’s best for them. If anything, writing about myself being a doormat to these people makes me look bad. Not them.
When you go through a breakup, it’s the time you feel the most alone. When I was going through my first heartbreak, I didn’t really know how to deal with it.
I went online to see how other people dealt with theirs. I’m not ashamed to say that online forums and articles like these ones seriously helped me, because I finally didn’t feel crazy. If all of these people were going through the same things as me, then we all couldn’t be crazy.
So about four years ago, I started writing about my heartbreak. The amount of support I got with people messaging me saying they’ve gone through the same thing was so healing.
I was never going to get closure from some of the guys I dated, so sharing my stories and helping other people the same way these articles have helped me made me feel much better about things I’ve gone through.
To this day, I still get messages from people telling me how my articles have helped them muster up the courage to walk away from a relationship that no longer serves them. They tell me how my writing has helped them realize that love sometimes can be toxic, no matter how much you want to turn a blind eye and pretend it’s not.
Yes, I write these articles bawling. Yes, it hurts to relive the past. And yes, I still read some of my articles wondering, “What did I do wrong?” Because I’m human, and despite wanting to be strong, it still hurts.
But helping other people realize they’re not alone really fuels my desire to air my dirty laundry. I want to help people realize it’s okay to make mistakes, and it only teaches you to do better next time. In a way, I also want my writing to be a chronological timeline of love life, because it means that life goes on, you move on, and you will find love again.
So, I’m sorry if we’ve dated and you’re upset that I can express my emotions in a way that you never could. I’m sorry if I turned the pain you caused me into my art. But I’m not really sorry, because it helped me… and it helps other people.
You can take our story away from me, but don’t try to take it away from them.