10 Simple Rules For Finding The One (For Hopelessly Romantic Girls)

Ever have an amazing day and realize you have no one to talk about it to? Then, while you sit there calculating the amount of time you’ve been single, you begin to wonder why, when, and how you became such a loner. Binge-watching New Girls provides its fun, but there comes a time where you wish you had a great guy to laugh at Schmidt with (if he’s into that). Many times guys really do just suck, but not all the time. Sometimes it’s us. Luckily, there are things we can do to fix our pattern of crappy guys.

1. Go after a guy you wouldn’t normally go after.

If you constantly feel like you’re dating the same guy over and over, that’s probably because you are. We like to think we’re so certain that we know what we want, but sometimes we really just don’t. This is why it’s so important to date guys of different backgrounds, colors, shapes, and sizes to get a feel for everything. Used to bad boys? Try a gentleman. Sometimes it’s as simple as changing up your taste in men; you never know what you might discover you actually like.

2. Don’t be afraid to approach him.

Some women still feel like the male should be the initiator, but there’s nothing wrong with breaking the rules every once in awhile! Some otherwise confident guys are insecure when it comes to talking to women. Sometimes shy guys are the best ones, but it may take you being the one to initiate contact. More importantly, by always waiting for a guy to approach you, you’re limiting your choices in men to those who want you first. You may not know what your “type” is because men have always chosen it for you. Be in charge! Make the first move.

3. Don’t focus so much on looks.

Obviously you want to be able to look your guy in his face, but in the grand scheme of things, looks don’t matter all that much. Physical features fade, especially with men: they get fat, and their knees go bad. They all end up looking like your dad at some point or another. So worry about what’s inside, because that will always be there.

4. See his ambition.

Don’t always date a guy for what he has and doesn’t have. If he treats you like the queen you are, yet doesn’t have a car or just recently lost his job, it’s not completely crazy to stick by him. What needs to be assessed is his ambition. Perhaps his car broke down, but he’s busting his butt so that he can afford a new one. Maybe he was laid off at his job because his position was no longer needed, but he’s applying to other jobs like crazy. Everyone has a low point (everyone who wasn’t born magically rich, that is). If he has big dreams and his vision matches his effort, stay with him.

Dating a guy simply for his material items and wealth isn’t always so smart. If a man with a lot of money suddenly loses it all and lacks ambition, he will never recover. But if a man who started with nothing and worked his way up loses everything, he’ll know exactly how to pick himself back up again. The key isn’t wealth, but ambition.

5. Think about the long-term.

So he dresses kind of funny and posts annoying statuses on Facebook. Why will this matter 5 years from now? Why does it even matter now? You’re just being ridiculous at this point. Focus on the long-term qualities, such as his kindness, way with children, and affection towards you. Those types of things are what will matter.

6. Don’t always push away guys who “come on too strong.”

A lot of guys get rejected because they seem too forward. Although this may be the case, it doesn’t affect whether or not he’s a great guy. Some men know what they want and will fight to get it, while others sit back and make sure you show equal interest. Regardless of the type of man he is, his way of showing interest is a matter of personality, not character. If it makes you a little uncomfortable, simply let him know to tone it down. However, don’t completely shut him out because he texted you twice in a row. Take it as a compliment and your way of knowing he likes you.

7. Focus on how he makes you feel, rather than how he makes you look.

So your friends think the height differences make the two of you look like a circus act. Or everyone thinks you’re crazy for dating a guy a few years younger than you. Maybe the two of you are completely different races. Doesn’t matter. What’s important is the way he makes you feel. If you are constantly smiling when you’re with him and you always feel like the luckiest girl in the room, it’s probably best to overlook the outside eyes. After all, they’re the ones missing out.

8. Remember that no one is perfect.

He will make mistakes. I repeat: He will make mistakes! Okay, so he forgot to call you back after you told him how much you hate when he does that. Sure, that’s something to be a little upset about, but it shouldn’t be the end of everything. Maybe he’s not used to having to call a girl and it’s taking him a while to get into the new swing of things.

Understand that if you’re making him go by your rules, you at least need to keep in mind that they’re your rules. You can’t ask someone to stop being a certain way they’ve been their entire single life and expect everything to be peachy overnight. People need time. Wouldn’t you? Realize that humans make mistakes. As long as he’s still respecting you and honoring your feelings the best way he knows how, what’s the big deal? Don’t sweat the small stuff.

9. Don’t expect too much in the beginning.

Sometimes when we like a guy a lot in the beginning, we get into relationship mode. We expect him to only want us because we only want him. However, keep in mind that if you’re in the early stages, this may not be the case. If you see him flirting with another girl, don’t just cut him off because you think he’s being disrespectful.

Keep in mind that you’re both trying to find true love, not just you. He must mingle before he makes a solid decision to talk to only one girl. Everyone moves at a different pace. By expecting too much in the beginning, you could be jeopardizing a possible future with a great guy. Stay in your own lane until the two of you talk about being exclusive. Then you can complain about those late-night texts.

10. Keep an open mind.

Are you always saying you’d never date a guy with a child, or a man in the military? You may be selling yourself short. It doesn’t make sense to say you’d never date someone in a certain predicament if you don’t even know what it’d be like. That’s like those ridiculous live-life-inside-the-box people who will never try calamari in all of its glory because they found out it’s squid. Who cares? It’s still great!

Don’t limit yourself. No situation is perfect. By completely shutting down men simply because of their circumstance rather than their heart, you’re only hurting yourself. Love is about finding someone who completes you; all of the details shouldn’t really matter. Always think of the bigger picture. TC Mark

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