5 Reasons To Never Date A Digital Marketer

1. We Take Digital Stalking To A New Level

Don’t worry about telling us your last name or social security number – we’ll find it. From reverse image search, to savvy email plugins, chances are we already know your mother’s maiden name.

2. We’ll Respond To Tweets Faster Than Your Texts

You texted us hours ago but still no response. Need an expedited answer? Send us a tweet and prepare for a lighting-fast response. Craving some extra romance? You’re in luck – we’ll bombard you with mushy tweets from across the dinner table. Date night will never be the same.

3. Your Head Will Spin With Friend Requests

We are on every social network known to man. Within 5 minutes of meeting you, we’ll instantly add you on Instagram, Google+, Facebook and even MySpace for good measure. Don’t have a Google+? No worries, we’ll make you one.

4. We Can Track You Down

Literally. We dream about click-through rates and our email accounts are the best in the business. But please, don’t feel too special. We track emails to our dentist as well.

5. We Give The Gift Of Branding

Birthday coming up? Christmas right around the corner? Forget the Cartier – chances are we’ll make you a website with your name as the URL. Nothing says true love like helping you build your personal brand.

Whether you’re dating a digital marketer or aspiring to, one thing is certain — we’ll attract you like a hot PPC campaign on a warm summer day.