Opening up can seem terrifying, daunting. When you begin, it can taste like a sour pill, hard to taste and swallow. You fight it at first, avoid it all costs, but deep down you know it’s necessary.
One day, you begin. Slowly. It might take a few tries. But each time, each day, it gets a little easier. Slowly, you start to feel that burden lifted off of your shoulders. That sour taste, the sounds of those words, they don’t hurt as much anymore.
You can see light again; you can feel again.
Not every day is perfect. Not every day is easy. Because with opening up comes the emotions and the pain and the memories you were avoiding for so long. They feel fresh, new. But you’re finally feeling them. And you know what? You are surviving them. Every memory, every emotion, you are surviving. Everything you thought you wouldn’t. You are still alive.
With the bad days come the good days again. Not the neutral, on autopilot days you would have before. But actual happy, sunny days. Because you are letting yourself feel the pain and the sadness and shame, you are now able to feel the joy, the happiness, and the healing.
In the opening up and the feeling comes the connecting. The thing you missed so much but were so desperately trying to avoid so no one would see your scars. But you know what? You needed that connection. That connection is what is going to allow you to heal and to move past the shame, the guilt, the blame, and the pain.
You are not alone anymore. The truth is, you were never really alone. You just didn’t know it.
Just as the sour pill will cure the disease, opening up will cure the pain. One day, maybe not tomorrow or the next day, but one day down the road, you won’t feel that shame or that pain anymore.
Because you opened up.