A Letter To The Woman Whose Man Cheated On Her With Me

Lulu Lovering / flickr.com
Lulu Lovering / flickr.com

Dear Candy,

I know you have no idea who I am but I am the girl who your man cheated on you with. I’m deeply sorry.

I am writing this because I am feeling guilty and maybe a little bit spiteful. He took away my right to consciously choose whether or not to have him cheat on you with me when he forgot to mention he was dating you (after I specifically asked). And now he’s taking your right away to choose — to choose whether or not to walk away — in his staunch refusal to tell you the truth about my existence and our long-held relationship.

He disgusts me and frankly my behavior disgusts me as well.

We slept together back in June. And it wasn’t just a one-night-stand either. It was a two-week-straight tryst, the culmination of an extremely flirtatious nine-month, very close friendship. The minute I found out you were in the picture I confronted him and all he could say was, “I can’t tell you to wait for me but I’m telling you that I’m coming. I’m coming for you I just can’t end things before she takes her MCAT. I don’t want to ruin her future. Just know that I am miserable doing this. Not being with you is not fun for me.”

I am livid at the way he’s handling things. He has continually said to me that he doesn’t know what to do when it comes to me and you so he just does nothing, which only hurts us both more, and despite the face that you’re ignorant of the situation. He claims he cannot handle opening two cans of worms despite my pleas for him to tell you the truth.

These past few months I’ve seen a different side of him that I never knew existed. If I could only tell you the countless number of ways I’ve bent over backwards to try and keep our friendship afloat while you were with him and how I’ve tried pleasing him more recently while we’ve been an item. I’m tired of wondering if what he says to me is true. I’m over questioning if he says the same sweet compliments and “I miss you’s” to you too. I’m exhausted and done trying. I raise my white flag with self-respect.

After seeing his true colors, I know that he doesn’t deserve me and, to be honest, he doesn’t deserve you either. We’re too good for him.

He told me something recently that would probably make you irate: that the only reason why he wants to go down to DC to visit you soon is because he wants you to pay for his next tattoo — apparently when you were dating you had previously offered to do so. I was appalled and told him he’s a scum bag.

Currently, I am struggling with losing both my best friend and my almost lover. But in the end a true friend would not treat me this way.

If you end up with him, I wish you the best of luck. The kid is extremely damaged.

I can’t stop thinking about the line in the Great Gatsby when Daisy Buchanan claims she wants her daughter to be a “beautiful little fool.” Well, I hope one day you learn the truth. I would never want you to be a beautiful little fool.

Best,
Aria TC mark

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