For some self-sabotaging reason, we’ve made this habit out of complicating what should be simple when it comes to dating. I don’t know if this is a millennial phenomenon or if we’re just now more privy to technology and THEREFORE ready to eagle-eye every move. Maybe everyone has always looked to love like it’s a Nancy Drew book. Must uncover the evidence! I mean, his heart is clearly hidden beneath a layer of dirt and thank goodness there’s a shovel nearby!! Get to digging!
I won’t deny there is a certain romance to looking for meaning. Not always a healthy romance, mind you, but a romance nonetheless. We want to uncover secret meanings. We’re sudden honorary FBI agents carefully studying text messages under a microscope. We. Must. Find. What. Lies. Beneath! How exciting, right?
But you want the actual truth? The one that isn’t written by your favorite author? The one that isn’t equipped with a soundtrack and fuzzy feelings?
The minute you start trying to figure out what he really means is the minute it falls apart.
The minute you stop trusting and believing in your partner is when there’s a reason not to. Be it because he isn’t invested like you are or he’s done something wrong OR because you’re so worried about nothing that you’re actually going to sabotage the situation regardless of what he does.
When he loves you, he loves you and you are simply swimming in it. That’s not to say there aren’t arguments or issues or moments you are frustrated with each other. Relationships require work and dedication. It won’t always be good sex and puppy dog eyes.
But if day one you have to question his intentions, you are headed on a one-way trip to Heartbreak Hotel. And sure, Elvis sang about it and that’s kinda cool. But staying there isn’t anyone’s first choice.
A man who cares isn’t callous. A man who cares isn’t selective. A man who wants you doesn’t ask you to jump through hoops. Men are fairly simple. Ask any man and they’ll tell you it’s true.
So if he’s wishy-washy, I’m sorry to say, this is a wave that won’t land you on some 5-star resort. This is a wave that will choke you back up somewhere unfamiliar with you asking, “What did I do wrong?”
Nothing, love. He just wasn’t that into you. But someone else will be.