1. Blood isn’t the only thing that makes someone family.
Love makes a family. Families don’t just look like one thing. There’s no criteria they have to fit. If there’s love, you’re a family. If there’s support, showing up, generosity, you’re a family.
2. Being annoyed with someone doesn’t mean you stop loving them.
You can absolutely have days when you don’t like someone, but you still love them. Love runs deeper than day-to-day frustrations. Love is caring about someone even if they’re driving you nuts.
3. It doesn’t matter how old you are, it can still be hard to share your parent.
All my life, my mom has been my best friend. I was an only child and never had to fight for her attention. I now share her with three step siblings (honestly, I hate using the term step because they’re just my siblings at this point). Even though I’m an adult, I still get jealous. I still get weirdly selfish and want her to just be mine.
4. Having siblings is simultaneously the best and the worst.
Siblings are built in friends you occasionally want to punch in the face. How is it that on one hand, you’d take a literal bullet for them, and on the other, you want them to JUST SHUT UP, PLEASE WOULD YOU BE QUIET???!
5. It requires patience.
You’re mixing families. You’re mixing parenting styles and experiences and different perspectives. You won’t always understand where others are coming from. That’s where the patience comes in. You need to count to 10 and take a breath.
6. Even though it’s 50 Shades Of Effed Up, sometimes you’ll crave validation that your biological parent loves you the most.
I know that sounds Absolutely Evil. But I am so guilty of this. I’m 25 and still look at my mom and whisper terrible things like, “I’m still number one in your heart…right?”