1. Going to the gym is like entering a new dimension. Who are these people? Why are they here? How do they get their bodies to look like that?
2. Honestly, it’s as if everyone at the gym speaks a language you cannot understand. BODY LANGUAGE (oooooh).
3. You feel like an idiot whenever you’re trying out a machine. Am I doing this right? Why can’t I feel anything working? What am I supposed to be targeting? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?
4. The fact that some people run FOR ENJOYMENT (???) is the craziest thing you’ve ever heard.
5. Required P.E. classes were the bane of your high school existence.
6. You’re only into the idea of hiking if it ends with a hefty brunch. And bottomless mimosas. Gotta hydrate…
7. You have the coordination of a drunk person when you’re 100% sober.
8. You have bruises on your body from literally running into walls. Yeah, you run into things that aren’t moving.
9. Bless anyone who thinks you’re gonna be able to catch what they just threw your way. Ha. Ha. Haaaaaa.
10. You always offer to be referee or score keeper at company “game days”. Also, wtf, why does your company need game days? GO BACK INSIDE WHERE IT’S SAFE.
11. You still have nightmares about running the mile in school.
12. And you wake up in a cold sweat. As if you really did run it. …But let’s be real, you would have power walked that thing.
13. You trip on nothing. Frequently.
14. You’re a big fan of wearing work out clothes and not actually working out.
15. It’s not that you’re lazy. It’s just that you’re so much better at watching Netflix in bed.