The first time I went on a roller coaster, I cried the entire time. I was 12 and the child sitting behind me, the child with arms proudly up in the air cheering, was probably six. I vowed to never, EVER get on a deathtrap like that again. And I have yet to. If you’re wondering, yes, I’m really fun to go to Disneyland with.
I have always been an anxious mess. Even before I had the correct vocabulary to describe it, I knew I felt A LOT. I was worried about everything. Going over bridges. Eating food that could have been prepared by someone who didn’t wash their hands. Earthquakes. The dentist accidentally choking me to death with those X-Ray strips you bite down on. Meteor showers. You know, the usual.
So as you might guess, I don’t need any extra adrenaline.
I get a rush from being on stage, from performing or public speaking, but that’s where my bravery ends.
Sky-diving? HA. I don’t even want to go on a zip-line.
I used to envy thrill seekers. They’re so cool! So courageous! They like to laugh in the face of danger. I scream in it.
I see these people wherever I go. They want to travel and try new things and like, go on boats or something. They want to go parasailing and bungee jumping and surf in the ocean. I don’t even feel comfortable swimming in the deep end of a pool.
Just venturing outside is a big task for me. I’m exhausted by the end of one social activity. WHEW. Need to reenergize for the next big outing (like going to the grocery store).
I can’t say I don’t understand the need for adventure. I do. It’s about life and all the joys and unexpected road bumps along the way. It’s about making memories and thinking you might die but then not dying. It all sounds very exciting.
Currently, I’m watching the little tracker on my phone to see where my Postmates driver is in relation to my house. Whaaaaat? She’s 5 minutes away!! WHAT A RUSH.
THIS, THIS IS WHAT YOU ALL MUST EXPERIENCE. MY HEART IS POUNDING. I FEEL ALIVE.