When It Turns Out Your Best Friend Was Right (That Guy Was An Asshole)

@criene
@criene

Your best friend, that earth bound angel, has always had your best interests at heart. You know this. Seriously. You do!

You imagine it must be tough how she walks a tricky tightrope; you see the way she tries to strike the perfect balance between telling you the (often) brutal truth and just wanting to see you happy.

And you love her for this, for all of it. If you were blindfolded, you trust she’d lead you to safety. If you were about to eat food that went bad an hour ago, she’d say, “Throw that shit away!” and you’d do it, no questions asked.

 

But when she cautions you about a dude? Suddenly, you’ll forget she’s the one who routinely has your back.

Now there’s this guy and you’re lovesick already. He kisses you and all you remember is his mouth on yours. Your friend doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Honestly, you know him so much better. It’s okay if people don’t understand. You get it.

Right?

You’re not blindfolded, just blind. Choose to ignore any red flags. Just let yourself be enamored.

Look at him and forget any warnings. It’s just you and this boy. You and this dude and you’re so infatuated, no one can change your mind.

And so, you fight. You tell your best friend she doesn’t get it. Tell her to keep her opinions to herself, that if she really loved you, she’d accept him and how crazy about him you are.

There are tears and words that are quickly taken back. Your friend says she’s going to try. She blames her overprotective nature; she says you deserve the best and her love for you can sometimes cloud judgement.

You make up. You forgive and agree to forget. But you don’t mention the guy around her as much. You let yourself get sucked up into the fantasy of his arms and how he grabs you in bed. You spend time at his apartment instead of yours.

Spend so much time convincing yourself she was wrong, refuse to see what’s going on in front of you. Notice him pulling away. His texts become infrequent. You catch him in a lie. And then another. And then another. He stops showing up when he said he would. Cut him slack. Cut him more and more.

One night, it will be too much. You’ll not care about your friend being right or you being foolish. You’ll just want your best friend. You’ll want her hugs and laugh and ability to love you even when you’re at your worst. You’ll talk to her. You’ll let her back in.

And yes, she’ll turn out to be right. He won’t be who you thought. He’ll be exactly who she knew he was.

 

But your best friend, that earth bound angel, will never make you feel ashamed.

She’ll tell you to put on sweatpants and show up with take out. She’ll put on your favorite TV show and pour you a glass of wine. And that will be it.

Because best friends are the forever people we sometimes forget have been there from the start. TC mark

Ari Eastman

✨ real(ly not) chill. poet. writer. mental health activist. mama shark. ✨

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