5 Things I’ve Learned From Being Friendzoned

The Lizzie McGuire Movie
The Lizzie McGuire Movie

I think we can all collectively agree the friendzone both exists AND is a bunch of garbage.

Allow me to explain.

Yeah, it’s a shitty idea to think of friendship as a consolation prize. And it’s NEVER cool or acceptable to make someone feel guilty about not returning romantic feelings. Buuuuut at the same time, c’mon, let’s cut the bull. We’ve all been there at least once. And it sucks. It sucks so hard.

I’ve had crushes on friends a few times and even though unrequited longing after someone is like an elephant repeatedly stomping on your heart, I’ve found valuable lessons within that terrible stomping feeling.

1. Friendship tends to outlast romance anyway.

Romantic relationships have two options: they end or last forever (lol what’s that like?). Friendships, however, don’t need to have an expiration date stamped on them. If you genuinely like who someone is, that’s the kind of person you want to keep around in the long run. Maybe keeping it platonic is the safer option anyway.

2. You can be SO sure you’re perfect for someone and still be wrong.

Just because you interpret everything as a cosmic ~*~sign of love~*~* doesn’t mean the other person feels that way. Sometimes we look for meaning in things that don’t necessarily have it to begin with.

3. If you really love someone, be happy for their happiness.

This is easier said than done, but if you love someone, and I mean REALLY love someone, you want them to be happy. Would it be nice if they were happy with you? Well, yeah. But life doesn’t always pan out the way we hope.

4. Attraction can fizzle. Don’t act on every stupid impulse.

Just because you’re attracted to someone doesn’t mean that feeling is going to last. Don’t ruin a perfectly good friendship for a momentary spark.

5. You’re allowed to be disappointed.

It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to feel the sting of rejection when you realize what you feel is one-sided. Give yourself a second to mope and then move on. This wonderful person is your friend and that makes you pretty damn lucky. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Ari Eastman

✨ real(ly not) chill. poet. writer. mental health activist. mama shark. ✨

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