Fuck Your Rigid Idea Of Happiness

Ryan Moreno
Ryan Moreno

When did everyone become so obsessed with happiness?

It seems like every Guru and kid with a blog (lol, hey it me!) are running this hamster wheel repeating the same old thing. We’re all Googling, “How to be happy?” and hoping something will stick. We’re searching for some mythical pot at the end of the rainbow. Actually, make it a double rainbow. Yeah, and make the pot of gold eternal happiness.

That’s what we want, right?

To be satisfied and fulfilled and stop hurting. We want to learn the meaning of life and work the dream job and have sex with the dream person, and wake up to do it all over again.

Yeah, fuck it.

Errr, sorry, Grandma.

Screw it. That better?

What if real happiness comes when we accept that happiness will never be a constant?

I’m tired of looking inward and thinking I’m incomplete for not being happy. I’m tired of comparing myself. I’m tired of this magical idea that if I could JUST be happy, just be fully happy, everything else would fall into place.

Happiness is fleeting. It comes and goes. It makes out with us behind the bar and then suddenly ghosts. It gives us the weekend or week or month of a lifetime, and then has to go back home. It has to leave and you don’t understand why it can’t stay with you forever.

This concerns some people. The idea that something is only temporary can be uncomfortable. Think about it. We’re one of the few species that actively practices monogamy and (many of us) believe in the idea of a soul mate – a forever person.

Nothing is forever. Life is temporary. Therefore, everything within a life is going to be temporary, happiness included.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t go after the things that bring you joy. Dedicate time to your passions. Fall in love again and again and again. Sing in the shower. Whatever, do the things that make you happy.

But realize you won’t always be happy. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed. That doesn’t mean you haven’t figured out this CRAZY, TOP SECRET TRICK that everyone else has.

Today might be a blue day. Or an angry day. Or something lackluster and numbingly mediocre.

That’s normal. That’s okay.

Appreciate happiness when it’s around. But don’t drive yourself nuts trying to hold onto it. Let it come. And let it go.

After all, you wouldn’t know how special it was if you had it all the time, right? Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Ari Eastman

✨ real(ly not) chill. poet. writer. mental health activist. mama shark. ✨

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