Sadness Is An Emotion. My Depression Is A Disease.

i have often tried to explain to my friends
this thing i have is not as simple
as a night of crying
or unanswered texts,
not an emotion they’d explain
on Sesame Street

so instead, i’ll grit my teeth
and fake my way through the same old scene
after enough time,
you become a mannequin
you’ve got the steps memorized
robotically maneuver your way

the misconception about depression
is that the sadness pours right out of you

i have not felt the sadness
in quite a while

but depression?
she’ll kiss your mouth full of empty
and it is not pretty
and it is not a tearful scene

depression is a static TV screen

and what i wouldn’t do
to just see an image