When It Feels Like You’re The Only One Not In Love

Audrey Reid
Audrey Reid

There is a loneliness that comes with feeling like you’re the only one not in love. You know it shouldn’t be a competition. And that’s not what it is, not really. You’re happy for the people you know who’ve found someone special to snuggle up to at night. It’s beautiful to see love, even if you aren’t the one experiencing it.

It’s not that being single is a bad thing. You know that. You’ve always been content with yourself; you’re not in some mad rush to couple off like everyone around you has. Love can’t be forced. It just has to happen.

And right now, it isn’t happening. And most days, that’s okay. You’re fulfilled by so many things: family, friendships, passions. You don’t seek a partner to complete you. Most days, it’s enough. Most days, you’re enough.

But there will be days when you feel suffocatingly alone, when you miss having butterflies.

It’s like you’re floating on some island, waiting for a ship to come and find you. You’ve figured out how to survive here, in this place. Still, you keep wondering if anyone is coming. You keep wondering if this is just how it goes for you.

Maybe some people only get a few shots at love. And though you aren’t eager to admit it, you’re afraid that person is you.

It gets exhausting being the permanent third wheel. It’s frustrating when people stop expecting you to bring a plus one.

Being the only one not in love feels like you’re missing out on some exclusive club. Even if that sounds naive and stupid. You want to be on the other side. You’re curious how it feels, to be in that club.

Or maybe, most simply, you just want to be in love. Maybe you’re hopeful that somewhere, someone, is out there thinking the same thing. Someone is waiting to meet you, to love you, to remind you how wonderful it all feels.

Most days, you’re fine. But today, it feels lonely. Today, you want someone to love. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Ari Eastman

✨ real(ly not) chill. poet. writer. mental health activist. mama shark. ✨

Related

More From Thought Catalog