1. Cyberstalk a crush so far back, you know what they wore to prom.
2. …And then proceed to stalk their prom date.
3. Accidentally “like” your crush’s photo from 56 weeks ago and immediately have a full-on panic attack.
4. Have an entire practice conversation with yourself testing out exactly what you plan to say to someone, hand gestures and all.
5. Dance your pants off. Like, literally. You Risky Business it all over the place. And probably while wearing your most unflattering underwear.
6. Take the ugliest, truly frightening Snapchat photos of yourself to send to your best friend.
7. Plan out your acceptance speech for your eventual Grammy, Emmy, Oscar, Pulitzer, Nobel Peace prize.
8. Lip sync into your remote control or hairbrush and pretend you are actually performing in front of a sold out stadium.
9. Take nude photos. But not to actually send to anyone. Just to look at. You’re interested (and terrified, tbh) in seeing how you look from certain angles.
10. Check how your armpits smell.
11. Pick your nose with gusto.
12. Grope yourself. But not in a sexual way. Sometimes it just feels good to hold your boobs.
13. Watch marathons of trashy reality TV.
14. Find yourself invested in the characters of said trashy reality TV.
15. Eat foods you know are going to hurt your stomach. Lactose intolerant? Whatever. Cheese is worth it.
16. Search for your ex on social media.
17. Cry when you see how hot their new significant other is.
18. Pose in front of a mirror. Sensually.
19. Swipe on Tinder until your fingers get sore. Freak out when someone messages you. Unmatch immediately.