Hey now, there’s NOTHING wrong with a great nude. Some people send them. Some just take them to figure out which is their best angle. Some shudder at the very thought. To each their own!
But what IS weird is when you say, “Hi!” to a stranger on Tinder and he responds with, “Can I see your tits?” Like damn, I don’t even get asked how my day’s going first?
I can only assume these are men that were raised in the wild by like, other gross men, and have never actually had a conversation with a woman. SO, before you block them, here are a few appropriate responses when a rando gets a little too excited.
1. “Do you mind if I consult my dad’s urn first?”
2. “I need to wait until this yeast infection clears up. That cool?”
3. “Wow! I’m so flattered. I don’t think I’ve taken a nude since 1957!”
4. *Send a close up photo of your dog or cat’s butthole*
5. “Say hi to your mother for me!”
6. “Sure, can I get your credit card information and social security number?”
7. “Nude? WHAT THE F*CK IS A NUDE?”
8. “You know we’re first cousins, right?”
9. “Is this a marriage proposal? Because, YES, a thousand times!! YES!!!!!”
10. “Shrek is love, Shrek is life.”
11. “I’m in love with you.”
12. “You look a lot like my Uncle Rick.”
13. “Have you ever watched My Little Pony?”
14. “Don’t look in your closet.”
16. “My boyfriend will NOT be happy about that.”
17. “Can you wire me $15? I want a pizza.”