1.

“I don’t understand how people… live. It’s amazing to me that people wake up every morning and say: ‘Yeah, another day, let’s do it.’ How do people do it? I don’t know how.”

2.

“Same thing that always happens. You didn’t know me and then you fell in love with me. And now you know me.”

3.

“You know, sometimes I feel like I was born with a leak, and any goodness I started with just slowly spilled out of me, and now it’s all gone.”

4.

“Ow, crap. I hate this. Running is terrible, everything is the worst.”

5.

“Yeah. I like that. I didn’t do anything wrong because I can’t do anything wrong because we’re all just products of our environment, bouncing around like marbles in the game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that is our random and cruel universe.”

6.

“I need to go take a shower so I can’t tell if I’m crying or not.”

7.

“Man, I really regret buying those muffins and then eating them all on the drive home.”

8.

“I just spent 7 hours playing with fonts? Holy shit!”

9.

“He’s so stupid he doesn’t realize how miserable he should be. I envy that.”

10.

“Closure is a made up thing.”

11.

“Not understanding that you’re a horrible person doesn’t make you less of a horrible person.”

12.

“I can’t say no to people because I want everyone to like me.”

13.

“I spend a lot of time with the real me and believe me, nobody’s gonna love that guy.”

14.

“Yeah, I ate them all in one sitting because I have no self-control and I hate myself.”

15.

“We’re just two lonely people trying to hate ourselves a little less.”