I’m So Sorry I Couldn’t Love You Forever

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This is not the poem
I ever wanted to write
you
this scratch in the back of my throat
a sore chest from trying to
suck everything
back in

I promise
I did my best
to fan the flame
I swear
I collected firewood
even when it was too dark
to see
even when I stumbled in the dirt
and spit out mouthfuls
of blood

There is no poetry
to falling out of love
just a stuttering engine
a sad space in your mouth
where roses once
bloomed
knees bent
forehead to the tips
of your hands
asking whatever deity
you believe in
to put that feeling back
make it stay
give you something
that lasts
give you something
that doesn’t die
like roses
always
do TC mark

Ari Eastman

✨ real(ly not) chill. poet. writer. mental health activist. mama shark. ✨

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