I Wish My Dad Was Still Here To Meet You

iStockPhoto.com / CoffeeAndMilk
iStockPhoto.com / CoffeeAndMilk

It’s one of those things that quietly haunts me,
will always sit in the back of my throat whenever I meet someone wonderful,
whenever I can taste future in everything we do.
It will always be so bittersweet.
It will always be an orchestra at someone’s funeral.
It’s beautiful, but there is a sadness I can’t quell.
Even when I want to.
The violins are just too loud.

You will always be one of the best parts of my day.
You kiss me and it’s like nothing has ever hurt,
but that’s a lie,
we both know I have felt dirt on the grave.
Still, I found some inner strength to keep going.
It breaks my heart to know you’ll never know the best part of my youth. You’ll never know the first man I loved who taught me to look for kindness,
compassion,
and a larger than life sense of humor.
You are everything my daddy taught me to love.

If we make it down the aisle,
I will always wonder what he would have said.
How he would have taken my hand and given it to yours.
Maybe knowing you would be his favorite is comfort enough.
He would have loved you so damn much. TC mark

Ari Eastman

✨ real(ly not) chill. poet. writer. mental health activist. mama shark. ✨

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