Can Someone Please Explain ‘Daaaaamn Daniel’ To Me?

@josholzz
@josholzz

When it comes to the internet, you’re always somehow two steps behind. And when I (late to the game) wondered wtf “Damn Daniel” meant, I knew I was clearly missing out on incredibly important pop culture news. I began shaking my fists at the sky. Curses! This is what happens when you leave your phone at home and, you know, enjoy existing in the world without being constantly plugged in. THANKS A LOT, ME.

I had no idea where this new catchphrase came from. People were quoting it on Twitter. I even saw Snapchat jump in on the game. And it left me wondering, what exciting thing had happened that I missed?

Oh.

So.

That.

Was.

It?

Listen, things go viral and there isn’t always a rhyme or reason as to why. Remember “Why The Fuck You Lyin’?” (I was obsessed) The internet is this weird, black hole filled with cat videos and people filling in their eyebrows. There’s no specific calculation you can do to figure out why things become popular. Sometimes, they just do.

BUT THIS? REALLY?

They even scored themselves a spot on The Ellen DeGeneres Show.

Ellen De-fucking-Generes gave them a customized surfboard and a lifetime supply of vans. AND I ASK YOU, FOR WHAT?

????????

I’m legitimately asking. Someone please explain this to me. Am I old? Did I lose my sense of humor? Did I never have one to begin with? Because “DAAAAAMN DANIEL” barely registers as a giggle to me.

Ugh, I’m old. TC mark

Ari Eastman

✨ real(ly not) chill. poet. writer. mental health activist. mama shark. ✨

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