1. If you just keep telling someone jokes, they will start to like you.
2. If you lose control of your bladder and pee yourself in front of a crowd, they will forget about it as soon as you shower.
3. You can choose your breast size without going under the knife.
4. It’s actually impossible to get pregnant unless you’re specifically trying.
5. You can basically make anyone love you.
6. Seriously, just keep bugging that one person you’re into and they will eventually give in and love you forever.
7. You can simply read a book and gain immediate life skills without any technical application.
8. Good news! Your crying and boring baby is only boring for three days.
9. If you want to work for money, that’s fine. But you could also just CTRL+SHIFT+C Motherlode that shit and never worry about your financial situation again!!!
10. You can Woohoo and kick someone out of your house afterwards without them being upset.
11. You can join any career path you want. Musician? Okay. Astronaut? Sure! Criminal? Do your thing!
12. Your aching loneliness can be easily fixed by chatting to someone random online.
13. You don’t fear death. In fact, sometimes you play games or just hang out.
14. Growing up is an easy process and you always have a strong sense of self and motivations.
15. If your work day feels mind-numbingly boring, don’t sweat it! Just press fast-forward and speed up your entire life.
16. If you forget to pay your bills, someone comes and zaps your couch into a tiny machine, but that’s basically the only repercussion.
17. If you hire someone to clean your house, they show up looking sexy af.