The ‘Why The F*ck You Lyin’?’ Vine Is Ruining My Life

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Nicholas Fraser is a life-ruiner.

He ruins people’s lives.

And I know what you’re thinking, is this a shitty ex boyfriend? A plea to any future ladies to stay far, far away? Did he run over your cat and like, never apologize? WHAT COULD THIS NICHOLAS CHARACTER HAVE DONE THAT WAS SO BAD?!

He created a Vine. A glorious Vine. A Vine to end all Vines. A Vine that I go to bed thinking about. A Vine I wake up thinking about.

If you’re one of the few who have yet to see the viral sensation remix to Next’s “Too Close,” I envy you.

I see you, all innocent and full of life. I was like you once. Blissfully unaware. Able to listen to other things. Didn’t wake with a constant loop of the same four lines over and over, AND OVER, AND OVER AGAIN.

The Vine (that has TAKEN OVER MY BODY AND SOUL) has now amassed nearly 15,000,000 loops on Vine in just 5 days…and I don’t see that number slowing down anytime soon.

With summer about to end, it has knocked Fetty Wap’s “Trap Queen” out of the way and is being (rightfully) labeled as song of the summer. Do you know how impressive that is? To come on the tail of summer being over and being THE SONG OF THE WHOLE ENTIRE SEASON?

Who is this Nicholas Fraser and where did he come from? Why is he not at my house hanging out right now? Why, even as I write this, is the only thing I can possibly hear, “Why the fuck you lyin’? Why you always lyin’? Mmmm, OH MY GAHHH. Stop your fuckin lyin’?”

I don’t have the answers, my friends. I don’t. But I am forever changed. I cannot deny it any longer. TC mark

Ari Eastman

✨ real(ly not) chill. poet. writer. mental health activist. mama shark. ✨

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