1. You clicked on this article because you’re avoiding actual work.
2. You fantasize about falling asleep and never having to set an alarm. Oh the joy of just waking up when your body is ready! What a beautiful, beautiful thought.
3. You’ve stocked up on frozen foods because the energy it requires to cook seems like the thing that will put you over the edge.
4. You’re weirdly jealous of children. Just running around, playing games, no bills to pay. “YOU’VE GOT IT GOOD!” You internally shout as you pass an elementary school.
5. Phone calls seriously stress you out. Whenever your phone rings you momentarily think about throwing it in the ocean. No ocean nearby? You’ll settle for a sink.
6. You’ve Googled, “Can humans hibernate?”
7. The amount you jokingly (maybe) say, “I hate everyone!!!” is steadily increasing.
8. Whenever Netflix says, “Are you still watching?” you’re mildly irritated. YES. YES I AM. OKAY?????
9. You’ve watched TLC programming. Because you…hate yourself?
10. Your motto isn’t so much “rise and grind” as it is “rise and try to survive the day.”
11. You wake up utterly exhausted.
12. Until it’s actually time to go to bed, then you can’t fall asleep.
13. You’ve questioned if you can put “Excellent Napper” on your LinkedIn profile.
14. You lose hours just looking at maps and researching cities you wish you could temporarily escape to. You have tons of Airbnb spots booked marked on your computer. One day is a bit of a mantra for you.
15. But seriously, you’re an EXCELLENT napper.