8 Undeniable Truths About Dating Writers

Unsplash / Jeff Sheldon
Unsplash / Jeff Sheldon

1. They will write about you

Obviously (or hopefully?) anything that is private, something you’d be uncomfortable with, hurtful, etc. would be off-limits material. But you will be written about. Names might change. Details could shift. But if you’re an important part of a writer’s life? Yeah, you’re gonna find a way into writing sometimes. It just happens. I’d say sorry, but you knew they were a writer at the beginning so:
Β―\_(ツ)_/Β―

2. BUT NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU

Okay, so they might write about you…but NOT EVERYTHING THEY WRITE IS A HINT TO YOU. I get it, trust me. It takes someone with a lot of confidence to read work and be secure and comfortable within the relationship. It becomes natural to think, “Okay, so is this about me? Are you mad? Is this a character or are you in love with this Aidan fella???” But try to relax. This is their job, remember?

3. Writer’s block is their version of, “I’m secretly just very frustrated at myself”

I try to avoid using the phrase “writer’s block” because it feels a bit like I’m letting myself off the hook. But if your writer boothang claims it, understand this is basically code for, “I’m feeling like shit about myself.” Let them feel it out and be aware they are probably a little extra sensitive right now.

4. They form serious emotional attachments to books

Reading is not only one of their escapes, but something that inspires their own work. Guaranteed they have at least two or three books they could name right now that have, in some way, fundamentally changed them. These books hold a special place in their hearts. But don’t worry, there’s still room for you.

5. They probably don’t make much money

Brutal truths: writers just don’t make bank. Unless you’re hooking up with J.K. Rowling, (and let’s not forget she struggled like crazy in the beginning) they probably aren’t rolling in the cash.

6. There’s a likelihood they deal with anxiety or depression

This is a pretty sweeping generalization I just made, and I recognize that. I’m not saying everyone you come across who enjoys writing is some sad, depressed Hemingway just penning the next great American novel, while drinking away their sorrows. But yes, there is a correlation between highly creative individuals and certain mental illness. Personally, I have yet to meet a writer who hasn’t struggled with either depression or anxiety.

7. They’re passionate people

When you’re exposing your thoughts to the world, you’ve got to be. If there isn’t some burning desire fueling them, they wouldn’t be able to continuously open themselves up for criticism, ridicule, rejection, etc. It’s not an easy gig. But if they know it’s what they’re meant to do? They keep pushing. Keep working. Passion is a guiding element in the lives of writers.

8. They’ll cheat on you

WITH THEIR IMAGINATIONS! Ohhh, I got ya, heh? Writers have a tendency to fall a little in love with their own imaginations, the worlds they create, the daydreams they splatter across pages. But when they really love you? You become better than anything they could possibly think up. TC mark

Ari Eastman

✨ real(ly not) chill. poet. writer. mental health activist. mama shark. ✨

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