17 Thoughts Chronic Overthinkers Have At The Doctor

A doctor once wrote me a prescription that simply said, “No more WebMD.” Unfortunately, I lost that prescription…so….my chronic overthinking is still very present. Here’s to other worriers out there! I get you, you nervous lil babes, I get you.
Scrubs
Scrubs

In the waiting room

1. “Omg, everyone here is dying of something and I’m about to catch it. I’m about to catch death!!!!”

2. *man next to you coughs*
“COVER YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH, SIR! I AM SO YOUNG. I’m not ready to die!!!”

3. “I really want to read that magazine, but also am 99.9% it’s crawling with germs and I just CAN’T risk that. Alas, we’ll meet another time, Cosmo…”

4. *man coughs again*
“Okay, seriously…what is this dude in here for?! I wonder how long he has left. Moment of silence for him.”

In the room before the doctor comes in

5. “Do they make you wait to just up the nerves? Is this all a game? I SEE WHAT YA’LL ARE DOING!”

6. “Did they forget about me?”

7. “No…seriously…did they forget about me?”

8. “Should I go out and remind them I’m here? Is that too needy?”

9. “I’m gonna just lie down.”

10. “Wait, no what if the doctor comes in and I’m lying down?? Would that be weird???”

Doctor starts doing doctor-like things

11. “What’s that stick for?”

12. “Oh, that’s supposed to go down my throat?! OH HELL NO! I’M NOT DEEP THROATING SOMETHING AT THE DOCTOR!”

13. “Why do I feel so self-conscious about my breathing? It sounds sensual and forced. Omg. The doctor isn’t saying anything. Can he hear a tumor????”

14. “I’m pretty sure I have a tumor.”

15. “That’s probably why I feel so tired all the time. Not from shitty sleep schedule. Nope. Definitely because I have a tumor somewhere.”

16. “The doctor still hasn’t said anything in a bit and I think it’s because he’s trying to figure out how to tell me I have a tumor.”

17. *looks at photos on the wall*
“Did I go to high school with that guy?” Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Ari Eastman

✨ real(ly not) chill. poet. writer. mental health activist. mama shark. ✨

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