11 Things You Need To Stop Saying To People Who Just Graduated From College

Accepted
Accepted

1. “You are still so young!!”

Ohhh, word? Should we calculate my exact age right now? Do you wanna know my birthday?? Sometimes, age has nothing to do with what someone is feeling. And invalidating whatever they just said with some bullshit, “Oh, but like LOL at least you are YOUNG!” doesn’t feel good. It makes US feel unimportant. Cut it out (Full House reference, I’m not THAT young).

2. “This will be the best time of your life.”

I get it, really. These statements are coming from a good place, but hey…what if it’s NOT the best time of our lives? What if our twenties suck so hard, but we really come into our own at like…45? Everyone has an individual story, experience, path, so stop trying to make this a one-size-fits-all deal. That’s not how life works.

3. “…Sooo what do you plan on doing with that?”

I got this again and again while I was still in college and would tell people, “Oh I’m in film school with a concentration on screenwriting.” And cue the blank stares. Maaaybe A) We don’t all need a perfectly settled plan. and B) What do I plan on doing with it? Waking up. Eating. Doing the same thing you do. BACK OFF, MANNN. LET ME LIVE!

4. “You’ll understand in a few years.”

OH, OKAY. COOL STORY. GREAT. LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. *eye roll*

5. β€œMaybe you should try Tinder.”

Well geez, thank you, Yenta. Ooooh matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match! Find me a find! Catch me a catch!

6. “But what do you REALLY want to do with your life?”

Right now? Stop having this conversation with you.

7. β€œEnjoy eating what you want now…while you still can.”

What a horribly, inaccurate thing to say in general. How about we all just chill with telling anyone what they should eat, yeah? It’s 2015, let’s move on.

8. “When I was your age…”

…you were probably annoyed at someone doing the exact same thing, let’s be honest. I get it. We all have moments of thinking we have profound and sage advice. I write for the internet, I’m a huge culprit of this. But at the same time, let’s try to remember what works for us doesn’t work for everyone. I’m down to hear about your experiences, but not if they are just a disguised attempt to show me what I’m doing wrong.

9. “Do you have plans for a real job?”

Uhhhhh….this is my real job. A job is a real job. Take that ignorance some other place, babe.

10. “I really miss being your age.”

Do you want a hug? Are you hoping for a Freaky Friday situation? I’m not sure what to do with this information.

11. “Just remember, think about your future.”

WHAT? WHAT IS A FUUUTUUURE?! My generation gets a lot of hate on how comfortable we are on the internet, but guess what? None of us know *the future*. And quite frankly, my willingness to put myself out there on the internet has landed me some pretty damn cool things in life. Take that pretentious sentence elsewhere, please. TC mark

Ari Eastman

✨ real(ly not) chill. poet. writer. mental health activist. mama shark. ✨

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