18 Signs You Like Animals Way More Than People
By Ari Eastman
1. You always greet a dog passing by with enormous amounts of enthusiasm, but bury your head in your cell phone if you see someone up ahead who you knew from high school.
2. You’ll socialize with other people, but the second you find the resident pet of the party you’re at, it is game over. You will spend the rest of the evening kicking it with your new furry BFF and ignoring everyone else.
3. You bawl your eyes out when animals die in films, but can only muster up a few sniffles when human characters bite the dust.
4. Obviously you care what your friends and family think of your significant other, but that’s NOTHING compared to what your animal thinks. If a dog growls at your bae, you start to rethink everything. THEY SENSE SOMETHING YOU DON’T! Trust.
5. You were more into The Lion King, Oliver & Company, Lady and The Tramp, etc. films of the Disney world rather than those silly princesses. And even in the case of princess movies, you were ALL about the animal sidekick.
6. You are ready to go OFF on kids who maliciously chase geese or are just generally torturing animals. Like, I’m sorry, why do you think that’s funny? You are legitimately scaring another living thing. So, time for me to scare you. OH YOU GON’ LEARN TODAY!
7. You went through a stage in childhood when you actually questioned if you could be part *insert favorite animal*. For example, when I was 5, I spent an abnormal amount of time convincing everyone I was half cat because I was good at climbing trees, hated swimming, and liked fish. Solid points, Eastman.
8. The Puppy Bowl > Super Bowl.
9. If you find out your crush is allergic to dogs, cats, etc. it is DEVASTATING. Because even though you really dig them…you know…animals.
10. You aren’t a huge fan of excessive cuddling, unless it’s with your pet.
11. If we’re being honest, you’ve definitely canceled plans with actual people to instead have a lazy night in with your animal. Maybe more than once…twice…
12. The absolute worst part of going to college is the idea that you will live in a dorm without a pet. I’m sorry, fish just don’t cut it.
13. You’ve fantasized about turning into a total badass, breaking into animal testing facilities, and releasing them all.
14. There are few characters you hate more than Cruella de Vil.
15. Once you heard about that one scene in I Am Legend, you couldn’t bring yourself to watch the movie. Or you did, and it still haunts you.
16. If you’ve ever muttered the phrase, “I hate everyone,” you are really saying, “I hate people.”
17. Some people day dream about romantic proposals and extravagant weddings, but you mostly just think about the moment you’ll find your other half at a shelter and give them the forever home they deserve.
18. You wouldn’t necessarily admit this out loud, but you’ve definitely seen some human babies you didn’t think were that cute. You’d always gladly take a puppy or a kitten instead.