1. “If I don’t set four alarms and repeatedly check them, I will fall asleep and miss my stop and end up at some ungodly place on the floor of a station for an hour and… okay, I’m just not going to fall asleep.”
Not only will they all be at slightly different times (5:05 am, 5:07 am, 5:12 am), but they’ll probably even have different sounds programmed for each specific alarm. Taylor Swift will wake you the first time quickly followed by Tupac. But you’ll be awake checking them all night anyways.
2. “Even though I’ve tripled-checked my luggage, I should still locate the nearest pharmacy to where I’m staying in case I forgot to bring toothpaste or deodorant.”
You’ll rest a little easier if you have back up plans on deck. And then a back up plan for the back up plan.
3. “I’ve left 3 hours early, but I’m positive I will still somehow miss my flight, so I will scream at every red light I hit.”
Unless you’re going to pull some Tom Hanks in The Terminal and just live in the airport, the process of actually getting there causes mass anxiety in thinking you WON’T get there.
4. “I left my water bottle in my carry on bag, they’re probably going to think I’m a terrorist and I’m about to get arrested.”
If you weren’t an overthinker, you’d say, “Oh well, they’ll find the water bottle and just throw it away.” But you, my dearest, could never let it be that simple. No, you can’t help from imaging what the inside of an interrogation room looks like, and that one will inevitably end up your home for the next 12 hours as they pump you for information on what you were plotting with that Dasani.
5. “The flight is definitely going to take off in the next 5 minutes when I have decided to use the restroom, so I will just hold it instead.”
Yes, it doesn’t matter that the boarding process itself takes way more than 5 minutes, you just KNOW they’ll leave without you the moment you decide to relieve yourself. Squeeze those legs together and accept your new fate of an infection.
6. “Okay, what was that sound? I’m 95% sure a bird just got sucked up in the engine and this whole thing is about to explode.”
Everyone around you is either asleep or watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians super casually. Meanwhile, you are alert and ready to analyze every bump and unusual noise.
7. “No but seriously, is anyone else concerned about that sound?? It sounds like a chorus of dying cats and you all look pretty unaffected.”
It was probably the wheels going up or coming down, or like, whatever magic voodoo makes planes fly (physics, science, birds, whatever). But this isn’t enough to comfort your worried mind. You’ll fake it for the sake of the flight attendant, but inside you’re imaging what they’ll say at your funeral.
9. “When should I go to the bathroom? Is now a good time? Is anybody there? I’ll wait another 10 minutes.”
It’s like Russian Roulette with your bladder. Who will give up first?!
10. “The most intense fasten seat belt sign ever will light up when I’m finally using the bathroom and all hell will break loose.”
Okay, eventually you have to go because you’re not superhuman. But you’ll be freaking out the entire time. Not to mention, bathrooms in airplanes are just so claustrophobic and anxiety-inducing in general, they could make the Dalai Lama have a panic attack.
11. “Is this lady next to me going to think I’m hitting on her if I ask to hold hands during turbulence?”
Human touch is an undeniable comfort, and if you’re a chronic overthinker, run of the mill turbulence is going to spike your blood pressure. If you’re traveling alone, you’ll crave a hand to squeeze all the more. But you’ll think more about doing it than actually gripping onto your unsuspecting neighbor. That is, until there is horrible and unexpected turbulence and your reaction is to grab them. Maybe this is the start to your beautiful love story…?
12. *Checks ticket four times to ensure you’re on the right flight*
You watch the real time digital map of the plane like a hawk, just in case they end up going the wrong way.
13. “If I fall asleep, everyone will stare at me and secretly judge/ridicule me.”
Sleep is such a vulnerable thing and if you’re an overthinker, it’s not going to be easy to slip into the state of serenity slumber requires (unless your doctor gives you a prescription for Xanax, highly recommend/two thumbs up). Maybe someone will steal your coveted Cosmo magazine! Or maybe everyone will laugh at the way you have your mouth open just a bit! The possibilities are endless, so you’ll just keep your eyes open.
14. “The man sitting behind me just coughed, so now I have Ebola.”
Traveling is a germ fest, there is zero doubt about that. But you aren’t automatically going to get sick JUST because you’re sharing a confined space with a sneezing, wheezing, dripping man…right? RIGHT?!
15. “What if I miss a really important announcement because I’m listening to my music way too loudly to block out that weird noise from earlier?”
You constantly take off your headphones to see if anyone is talking. And then, you’re overwhelmed with the fear that the moment you put said headphones back on will be when you miss the Captain saying you need to make an emergency landing, or the bus driver will announce your stop is there.
16. “My suitcase is gone forever. So long, favorite cardigan. I’ll think of you fondly.”
The reality is that bags do get lost, but you’re going to freak out after about 3 suitcases have popped out of the carousel and none of them are yours. You have a reoccurring nightmare that everyone will get their bag, except for you. They lost ONLY yours. You lucky dawg, you.
17. “My mom/dad/sister/brother/significant other/Gary Busey will forget to pick me up.”
Maybe this stems from some unexplored abandonment issue that we should really talk about at some point, but an overthinker absolutely imagines the scenario that whoever agreed to get them at the airport will just…not get them.