Thoughts Girls Have Before The First Date VS After First The Date

50 First Dates
50 First Dates

First dates are kind of like job interviews: really nerve-wracking, but with the potential of leading to something really great. All kinds of first dates exist: good dates, bad dates, small dates, big dates, one fish, two fish, wait….sorry, forgot what we were doing here. Sometimes, things don’t go exactly like you’d imagined, and sometimes they turn out to be even better. But rest assured, girls are thinking about everything in between, both before and after.

Before: Damn girl, look at youuuu! You’re taking chances, putting yourself back out there, and totally getting over that last asshole.
After: I really miss my ex…

Before: I kind of want to cancel and just kill this bottle of wine. Party of one, please.
After: I’m glad I went out, but now I’m still gonna cuddle up with my main boo, Netflix.

Before: I can’t tell if these butterflies are from excitement or stomach upset.
After: These butterflies multiplied by 20, and now I can’t sleep.

Before: I can’t tell if these butterflies are from excitement or stomach upset.
After: Never eating at that Taco Truck again.

Before: You got this. Just remember: WHO RUN DA WORLD? GIRLS!
After: Meh. That was so mediocre. I can’t believe watched a 12 minute YouTube tutorial to do my makeup all special for this night.

Before: I’m just going to have an open mind and go with zero expectations. Keep it light, casual. Suuuper chill. I’m seriously so chill. I’m ice cold, baby.
After: HE’S SO AMAZING! I NEED TO CALL MY BEST FRIEND AND GIVE HER A PLAY-BY-PLAY OF THE ENTIRE NIGHT! WEEEEEE!

Before: Should I wear lipstick? What if he kisses me and then it gets all messed up?
After: Noooo! How long has there been lipstick on my teeth? Oh god, I hope he didn’t notice.

Before: I’m absolutely going to stick to a two drink maximum.
After: Fuuuuuuck.

Before: This is the first time I’ve shaved in 3 weeks. I can’t stop rubbing my legs together. Soooo smooooth.
After: I can’t believe I shaved for that.

Before: I don’t want to move too fast, so I’m just gonna skip waxing. It’s like a self-made chastity belt.
After: I’m so stupid, I can’t believe I didn’t wax. Now I’m just hairy and sexually frustrated. Making an appointment first thing in the morning.

Before: I’m going to cancel. No! I’m going. But, also…no, I can’t go…NO, YOU WILL NOT END UP LIKE AUNT CHERYL, YOU’RE GOING!
After: I should call Aunt Cheryl sometime soon.

Before: What if he doesn’t even like me?
After: I still kinda don’t know if he likes me. I’m going to text my best friend and see what she thinks.

Before: What if I don’t even like him?
After: I still kinda don’t know if I like him…I’m going to text my best friend and see what she thinks.

Before: I really feel like we’re going to hit it off.
After: :) :) :) :) :)

Before: Oh, awesome. I super wanted to get my period right now.
After: These sweat pants are such a relief. And now, chocolate. Must locate chocolate.

Before: I already know this is going to suck.
After: Welp. Always trust your gut, girl.

Before: I know this is completely irrational…but what if he’s my soulmate?
After: Yep, definite possibility. But I won’t vocalize that completely crazy thought to anyone. Except my best friend.

Before: I think my heart is going to beat right out of my chest.
After: My heart is still racing, and now I’m going to reread his text messages and listen to Bright Eyes. Sighhh. I forgot how terrifying and amazing this feeling is. TC mark

Ari Eastman

✨ real(ly not) chill. poet. writer. mental health activist. mama shark. ✨

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