9 Things Girls Do Before Having Sex With You For The First Time


1. They consult with one another

Is it too fast? Do you like him? Do I even like him? No matter your relationship or view on sex, girls talk about this with each other. Sometimes they disagree, sometimes they’re totally on the same page. But it’s some sort of check in, a nice sounding board, and often to just reassure the decision they’ve already secretly made. One night, I went out to a bar with two of my girlfriends to meet up with a guy I was interested in. Before any drinking even occurred, I proclaimed, “IF I WANT TO GO HOME WITH HIM, LET ME. I think sexual intercourse is a thing I’d like to do tonight.” No seriously. That was my wording…I’m obviously a bombshell. AWE YEA, sexual intercourse.

2. They get naked in front a full-length mirror

One thing I will constantly talk about is self-love, the importance of body acceptance, yaddayadda. And I mean it all, but let’s be real: even the most secure individual is going to be nervous about another person seeing them naked. Even if it’s a nervous excitement, you’re not superhuman. You’re going to be like, “well shit, lemme check the goods out once more.” Not sure if men do this, but girls definitely give themselves a once over with all the lights on before coming to see you. And if you’re awkward like I am, you dance butt naked around your room to “Shake It Off” and shake, like…way too much.

3. They kind of freak out

Sex with someone you’re super into for the first time is terrifyingly awesome. Or maybe awesomely terrifying? No doubt a flood of super irrational, borderline certifiable thoughts are taking over your mind before things go down. What if I spontaneously get my period? What if he makes a really fucking scary climax face and then I lose my lady boner? I really hope he’s not one of those dudes who thinks spitting on my vagina is somehow hot. Anxiety goes full-force. I know he doesn’t live at home, but what if somehow, his parents are randomly visiting and they walk in? Remember to take a moment to breathe, and calm the fuck down. It’s gonna be great…maybe?

4. They spend a long time achieving naked mole rat status

Yes, I said it. It’s dedication. It’s time and pain. We don’t just wake up like dissssss.

5. They visualize the hook up, and get a sudden, visible full-body shiver

These are kind of the best. You know that feeling? Maybe you’re thinking back on that super sexy thing they whispered in your ear, or remember the way it felt when they ran their fingers up your spine. Your body just has this uncontrollable spasm, like it’s saying, “YASSSSS, I WANT THAT!” Our imaginations and/or memories can be the ultimate aphrodisiacs.

6. They watch that movie scene that gets them hot

Or whatever their thing is. Maybe it’s a Spotify playlist filled with Miguel and Frank Ocean. Maybe it’s reading erotica. For me, it’s the lift scene in Dirty Dancing because I’m the biggest fucking nerd. True story: I tried to do that with a guy I was hooking up with. Not nearly as sexy, or graceful. Points for trying though.

7. They wonder what you’re doing

Not in like a creepy, obsessive stalker way. But rather, something sort of sweet and school girl ish. Is he nervous? Is he watching Dirty Dancing right now? We’re just curious. But hopefully, this curiosity doesn’t kill their cat. Meowwww.

8. They question what post-sex is going to be like

Are we cuddling? Are we going round 2? Am I spending the night? Are YOU spending the night? They’re already preparing for all the different possibilities.

9. They calculate the last time they had sex

I’ve heard so many girls do this. Whether it’s, “GOD, I need this. It’s been a solid 6 months for me.” Or even, “Yeah, it’s been about a week.” Girls are doing the math. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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Ari Eastman

✨ real(ly not) chill. poet. writer. mental health activist. mama shark. ✨

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