1. She can tell you the exact location of the nearest emergency exit at any given time.
2. She has a really hard time being concise. She’s incapable of answering stock questions with stock answers. In other words, she over-explains. Example: she doesn’t answer “How are you?” with “I’m fine!” — she will actually give you a complex run-down of the ways in which she is fine and not fine. This doesn’t really work in normal conversation.
3. Late periods are major drama. If it’s even one day late, she’ll panic and make a beeline for the pharmacy, buying out the entire pregnancy test section.
4. She takes a little longer to adjust to change. It’s not that she doesn’t secretly dream of being spontaneous and throwing caution to the wind one day, she just…has absolutely no clue how to do it. Consistency is important to an overthinker.
5. She knows if you’re having a bad day, even before you do. She’s already figured it out from that weird smirk thing you keep doing. Overthinkers know the tell-tale signs of stress. She’ll do whatever she can to make it better without you having to tell her that you’re upset.
6. She is convinced there’s a deeper meaning in almost everything. She can analyze something you said about your friend last night in combination with the look on your face when you said it and deduce that you have deep emotional issues regarding friendship that started in early childhood. Most of the time this is definitely overthinking, but sometimes she can get frighteningly close to home.
7. She has extreme planning capabilities. Rest assured, your overthinker girlfriend is always prepared with not only a Plan B, but also C, D, sometimes all the way to H. There’s no obstacle she can’t think a way around.
8. She isn’t always quick to let people into her inner circle. It’s not that she’s overly critical, she’s just cautious because she knows how much can go wrong. If an overthinker really loves and trusts you, it not only speaks volumes about your character, but it also means you are worth the risk.
9. She can’t with social media and texting. She is totally out of her element here. Every emoji is way too open for interpretation. Every Facebook status could be either great and validating or totally passive aggressive. Other girls’ hashtags on Instagram are hell. You’ve actually had to say to her: “Sometimes an eggplant emoji is just an eggplant emoji.”
10. You’re pretty sure she invented a new emotion: the strange anxiety you get when you see someone is typing, they stop, and nothing gets sent.
11. She’s healthy but refuses to believe it. Her medicine cabinet looks like she’s preparing for the apocalypse. If she gets sick and her lymph nodes swell up, she assumes she has a tumor. Anything else that happens is cancer. She definitely has WebMD bookmarked.
12. She will obsess over wearing the perfect “I really, really hope you like me” outfit when meeting your family. You can expect to add a full extra hour to her getting ready time. She knows how important a first impression is, and whether she has her hair up or down might not seem big to you, but it’s Titanic iceberg huge to her.
13. She hasn’t told you this, but she has agonized over the times you have taken too long to text her back.
14. She is certain that everything can be figured out. If she hasn’t figured out what that cryptic thing your mom said to her last time your parents visited, you can be sure that she is still actively trying to understand exactly what your mom meant. You have tried to tell her your mom just says funny stuff some times.