I love how my small hand fits yours perfectly, how your arms find its way through my waist, how you wrap your legs on me so I won’t get up so early, that you call me on the wee hours just because you can’t sleep. I love when you cook for me, you are the best chef, except when you ask me to do the dishes, it makes me want to curl back to bed.
I like that we always try new things, gobble on food in new places and going somewhere we haven’t been to. I like that you ask me to scratch your head, you can’t do it yourself because your nails are too short from nail-biting. I like the way you laugh, it’s short-lived but loud.
I find it funny that you get mad when I can’t decide where to eat, but after filling up you go from your worst mood to the best. You look hilarious when you’re asking me to clean your ears, and how that makes you fall asleep. You’re so loud when you sleep, but somehow I find it comforting, and now your snore is my lullaby that tucks me in.
You are my best days.
Until you were…
I should’ve held your hands longer, if only I knew that it was the last time. I should’ve hugged you tighter, that might’ve made you stay longer. I should’ve kissed you longer, but even longer won’t be enough.
I should’ve showered you with kind words, if I knew that was the last thing you’d hear from me. I should’ve memorized your face, I didn’t know I won’t see you again. I should’ve asked you to go back to bed, I should’ve known you weren’t coming back. I should’ve loved you more, then perhaps you won’t go. I should’ve known you were unhappy, then I’d be the one to go.
I can fill pages of what should have been, but we now don’t have a chance of what will be.
Amidst all that, you are my best days. You were.