1. People change.
If you expect people to stay exactly the way they are, you’re in for a rude awakening. People change for varied reasons, and along with that their expectations, goals, and relationships change. They were numerous people in my life who have grown from strangers to close friends and back to strangers. This is because as they progressed in life, their needs changed and so we no longer found common ground. It can seem quite cold, but it is one of the realities of life.
2. There is no black and white.
As much as we’d like it to be, the world is not all black and white. There isn’t always a clear definition of good and bad. Some areas will fall in the middle, a “gray” area. Some of your favorite people will fall in this category. As much as you’d like them to be a clear black or a clear white. This means you won’t agree on some key decisions, but that’s okay.
3. Love is conditional.
Relationships work in a given set of circumstances and time. We look at love as an emotion. However, love is more than just an emotion. Love is first and foremost, a choice. Relationships tend to be complicated, and that makes defining love even more complex. However, you can’t expect people to always be there for you as sometimes love can run out, people can choose not to be in love.
4. Life isn’t fair.
You may think that we are all created equals and have equal opportunities but that isn’t true. Some people can have an unfair advantage, and there won’t be anything you can do about it except smile and move on. I’ve seen many situations where a friend’s important background, status, or connection gave them a clear advantage over me.
5. Compromises are important.
I’ve lost a few good friends due to our failure to see to eye to eye. Sometimes, when something is close to our heart, we can be extremely defensive towards it. If a friend has an opposing view, then the relationship can become tricky. Compromising your view shows that you care more for a friend than you do for your ego. This will help you maintain a relationship.
6. Cease your opportunity.
If you don’t take it on yourself to cease your opportunity, then someone else will. Good opportunities are a rare occurrence and should be treated as such. If you’re putting off a big decision because of a few people in your life, you should re-consider. Given the same situation, odds are they would pick the opportunity over you.
7. Don’t look back.
People from your past should stay there, in the past. Returning to old relationships expecting the same thing makes no sense. Whether it’s an old friend that you can’t trust anymore or a failed relationship, keep moving forward.
Life can be a cruel taskmaster. It’s easy to get demotivated and lose hope. However, there is something to learn from each bad experience. Every time something works against you, you have an opportunity to grow from it. While at the time these lessons seemed difficult, I learned more about myself because of them. In the end, we are responsible for our lives and no one else should be given the power to change that.