12 Vodka-Inspired Haikus For Drinking Enthusiasts


Cloudy memories,

my liquor infused courage. 

Why did I do that?

Six tequila shots

up in my red solo cup,

to hell with mixers. 

The struggle is real

for horny Catholic girls,

Sunday confession. 

I made out with who?

Why did you let me do that?

You tried to stop me?

Bass thuds and heart thumps,

blurry people surround me.

We dance to be free.

At first I wanted

to remember what we did,

now I can’t forget.

Just like Beyoncé, 

I’ll ride it with my surfboard,

cause I’m drunk in love. 

“Ha! You hooked up with –“

“Shut up! That never happened.”

Beer goggles failed me. 

I can’t remember

anything – no name, no face. 

Only your tongue’s taste. 

“Gross! I stepped in puke!”

“That’s yours, don’t you remember?”

Ah… mistakes were made.

God’s gift to mankind,

a drunken delicacy:

Chicken McNugget. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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