To The Ones Afraid They Will Never Heal

Ieva Urenceva
Ieva Urenceva

Nothing is eternally damaged. Not even you.

I know how devastating it is to be hurt by someone you really cared about. I, too, have been hurt once or twice before. And at some point, everyone goes through a heartbreak that seems so great that you think you’ll never recover again. The thing is, we have this propensity to intensify things in our minds. We have this tendency to overthink things – to consider all the possibilities – that we end up upsetting ourselves even more than we already are.

It took me a month to realize that he wasn’t coming back, almost a year to finally move on, and only a second to feel that stabbing pain in the chest that no one ever wants to feel. After much prodding and a handful of advices from my friends, I finally convinced myself that it’s not worth it. I then realized that I deserved more and that I don’t deserve to be curling in pain, yet I allowed myself to. I guess that was because I thought he was the one I was supposed to be with, and partly because I don’t know what else to hold on to. The moment I admitted that it really was over was the exact moment when I took my first step – my first step to moving on.

Do not think of heartbreak as despair, but as a blessing – a sign from fate, a heads up from the world.

Maybe heartbreak was destiny’s way of saving you from a future of misery. Instead, be thankful that you found out soon rather than when it’s too late. Think of this as a chance to start over again, a do-over, a chance to fix your broken heart.

We all have to accept that some things are beyond our control, that they are bound to happen. We only have power over ourselves and our decisions, not anyone else’s.

We have to accept the fact that people will screw up no matter how many times we beg them not to. People will fall short of our expectations, and more often than not, surprise us in ways we never saw coming. Our hearts may have gotten broken, but these scars will heal, one step at a time.

At the end of it all, you’re still alive.

You’re still breathing. You can still smile. You can feel pain. You’re still human.

And it will get better. I promise. TC mark

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  • http://destinationhiraeth.wordpress.com destinationhiraeth

    I feel like these thoughts about despair and rumination/self-sabotage apply to so so much more then heartbreak as it is understood through romantic break-ups. In fact I would argue that over thinking hardship is part of the human condition that most of us have to work hard to break free from. Thank you for this gentle reminder :)

  • https://healing.ly Walter

    I had two major heart brakes in my life: my mother’s suicide when I was 9 and my first serious girlfriend. Being a hyper sensitive this two event statistic convinced me that I would never find happiness again – at least lasting happiness – and I turned into a cold hearted prick. Then I woke up. I met a girl that would become my best friend and the love I felt for her washed away all the illusions I built on top of my pain. That’s why I started healing, that’s why I started blogging. Hope is there if you open your heart.

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