8 Things I Learned From My Relationship That Changed My Cynical Mind About Love

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I could’ve sworn I never believed in long-lasting love before. Seeing as how I reacted to people getting together, I guess I was not a firm believer of relationships. But now that I, myself, am in a two-year relationship with a wonderful person, it made me see things a whole lot differently.

I don’t know with you guys, but everytime I look at this person, I think about how the hell did I let myself be cynical about the entire idea of love. I look at him and I smile, because I know that what we have is nothing like what I used to write before. Yes, of course we do have problems. There are days when I want to punch him in the face, and there are days when he wants to tear his hair out. But what’s important is at the end of every day, you never let your partner go to bed angry and you never keep those little feelings bottled up. You try to resolve your issues, because if these things pile up, it’ll just be a huge problem in the future.

1.

There is no foolproof way to handle love.
There’s no comprehensive how-to guide, no universal relationship manual despite the overabundance of these so-called “rules”.

2.

No matter how happy you are in your relationship, occasionally, you’ll wish you had only yourself to take care of again.

3.

Every now and then you’ll find yourself incredibly attracted to someone else – the way their dimple appears everytime they smile or the way they form their sentences, and no matter how much you love your partner you’ll suddenly want them so bad that you start to feel nauseous. Of course you won’t do anything about it, but you’ll know you had the thought and you’ll hate yourself for it just the tiniest bit.

4.

“Someone ideal” is also a slippery mystery. Technically, this is someone who could meet every standard trait you’ve written on your list. But you know that these things are some incredibly difficult criteria for one person to fulfill if you really think about it.

5.

You’ll never be ready. Everyone makes such a big deal about the “right time,” about being “ready for a relationship,” but we all intrinsically know this is bullshit. Go and take a chance.

6.

If you meet the right person, you rearrange your mental schedule and make room for them, because that’s just what you do. It happens. If you have to constantly overthink and agonize, they’re probably not the right one.

7.

Heartbreak is one of the best things that can happen to you. It’ll help you grow and mature as a person, and eventually you’ll learn that the other person’s happiness is just as important, or at some cases, maybe even more than your own.

8.

You fall in love with your heart and not with your eyes. You’ll crumple your list of “things he must be” because you choose to overlook his imperfections and idiosyncrasies. You choose to see the perfect person that he is, simply because you love him.