What kind of person doesn’t like parties? Someone who’s anti-social. A hermit. An introvert. Or just someone who is uptight as fuck. I was the latter. The thought of company in my home sent me into a full-blown panic.
Were the toilets clean? When was the last time I vacuumed? And where exactly were my panties hanging to dry? I had an incessant need to be the perfect hostess. Far from a Stepford wife, I still couldn’t shake the need to please my husband and his friends.
What made matters worse was that my husband treated our front door like the revolving one outside of Macy’s. He invited every Tom, Dick, Harry and random lonely neighbor over for a drink. And without warning.
“Hey babe, on my way home. Oh, and by the way, I have six friends with me.”
I would scramble around the house in a mad dash to fill ice trays, prepare snacks and make myself presentable. All while trying to mask my annoyance. But why exactly was I annoyed anyway? Because my husband was friendly? Social? Was that such a bad thing?
It took some time and persistence on my husband’s part but eventually, I learned how not to be an uptight B when it came to having people in my house. If you’re an uptight B like me, here are three ways to learn how to chill the F out and enjoy yourself.
1. Realize No One Gives a F
This is rule number one and probably the most important. Nobody gives an F if your house isn’t immaculate. Only you see the dust on the bookshelf and the crooked picture on the wall. If you don’t point it out, no one else is going to see it. Trust me. You have to tell your inner uptight B to STFU and look the other way.
2. Keep Easy Snacks on Hand
If you’re anything like me, part of your panic over having impromptu company is that you feel the need to feed them. I’m not talking about a full-course meal or even dinner, but as a hostess, it’s nice to offer some type of snack. I try to keep easy things on hand like chips and salsa, cheese and crackers, and popcorn. If guests don’t eat them, I’m sure someone in your house eventually will. These things are super simple and are easily thrown together in just a few minutes. You’ll look like an all-star when you offer up goodies on the fly.
3. Be a Guest in Your Own Home
This one I’m still perfecting. It’s hard to sit down and relax when you have people over. I’m constantly up and moving around. Asking people if they need anything, clearing away dirty plates and refilling drinks. Well, stop it! If people are in your home it’s probably because they like you and want to spend time with you not watch you work. So whether it’s simply sitting around chatting or playing lawn games and hanging by the fire pit, spend time among your guests, not serving them.
I’d be lying if I said I’ve completely killed the uptight B side of my personality but I’ve definitely made some improvements. They say admission is the first step to recovery. I’ve accepted the fact that I can be slightly neurotic when it comes to company. And recognizing this has helped me let go of some of my uptight behaviors. Sometimes, you just have to look the other way. Your guests aren’t judging you based on the tidiness of your home but instead by the pleasure of your company. So sit down and chill out. Trust me, it’ll be okay!