I am having a bad day so far. The day is not over with; it will change.
It sounds as though I speak to myself as though I were a horse, but it’s the only way to control the chatter in my brain. Between my negative thinking and the positive person I know I am, it’s often hard to distinguish who I should listen to.
It’s a given that positive thinking, minuscule time slots before my work day begins, have proven to ease my anxiety and depression. Time and time again, I noticed that my thought patterns are preparing me for the day ahead. I choose to tear down that negative side of me today and for as long as I can.
I picked up Shad Helmsetter’s What To Say When You Talk To Yourself after a month-long depressive state. I didn’t understand the reason for my sadness, as I was on medication for a year at this point and was doing talk therapy. As soon as I became aware that I became a walking robot and began to put my exercise on overdrive and my alone time on the backburner, I just knew my depression was ready to come snatch me.
It always starts off that way. First, I lose interest in everyday tasks, asking myself daily, Same shit, different day, right?
Then, What is the point?
Negative self-talk is a choice, according to Hemsetter, and I suppose that is half true. But I feel as though he doesn’t realize that there are numerous individuals with mental illness. Even saying that sounds wrong, as though I am purposely trying to make excuses for any limits I place on myself.
I choose to believe that if you can make the conscious choice to get up and go about your day, then you have the choice to decide if the world will break you.
I am not my diagnosis. I am not my depression. I am here. I choose to fight the day. If I become stuck, then I will know that there is a reason for slowing down, doing said task again. In effect, I am preparing my body to revitalize itself. That’s truly what I imagine negative self-talk moves me to do, to act.
I don’t want to sound like I am a broken record, but it truly is worthwhile in saying that positive self-talk along with a minimum of five-minute meditations truly works. It has for me, and I hope that it does for you too.