Let’s face it, we all know half the things in our lives don’t go as we planned them. Either life has its own way of screwing it up for you, or there’s that someone who makes it harder for you to believe that dreams do come true. There are times when you go to sleep, all determined that tomorrow is a new day and that you’ll fight this, the struggle will eventually be over and you would have felt decently happy towards the end of the next day. Little did you know that the next day will be ever harder and that it’ll make you feel worst than you even imagined.
Have you ever felt like life was giving up on you?
Did you ever see a child walking on the street, and wanted to walk up to him/ her and say ‘Hey, life is not all these fairytales you grow up listening to. It’s difficult. Do not believe in love easily. You will find a prince charming, he will break you heart, but it’s not the end. You will find your dream job, your man and that gorgeous home you are building in your head right now. BUT.. It’s not easy’
You start to wish people would tell you the truth more often, so you’d be a little better prepared for what life has to throw to you? Well.. you’re wrong. NO one will ever tell you this. It’ll only be the voice in your head that’ll make this easier for you. It’ll help you weigh all the possibilities of ‘This isn’t over’
You will wake up the next day with a better plan in mind to see if you can end this war with life, and nurse all these wounds you’ve gotten in the process.
There will be a time when you want to run home and just cry into a pillow. DO IT!! No body ever said it was wrong to cry. People who say things like ‘Only a weak person will break down’, clearly do not comprehend the power of crying and the joy of being able to breath a little better after. It’s ok to hide from the world for a day, a week, even a month perhaps. It’s ok to feel defeated and like you’ve lost the war. IT’S REALLY OK.
Sometimes you have to learn to let the wound heal in it’s time.
There will be that day when you wake up and you’ll know the fight is over. All the waiting has finally paid off and that you can breath again. NO more pain in the chest and feeling like you’re running on a timeline to be ok. NO more wanting to stay in bed feeling like life has taken over you and it’s over now.
It feels like VICTORY!! You want to go around dancing your favourite song and stuffing your face with cake and ice cream again. DO IT! You earned it. You waited for the war to end, you fought the battle the right way, if it was seeking help or going in that war zone alone. YOU DID IT! It was you who fought, you who conquered. Don’t ever feel weak or fragile when you think you need help. Sometimes seeking help only gives you clarity, the battle is still yours.
There will be that day when you wake up and feel amazing, because now you’ll know what it is like to kick ‘Life’ in the backside. You’ll know what really victory feels like..
This is just a tiny way in which I can express how the past few years in my life were. The fight against depression was not easy, but it ended. I want to wake up every morning now. I want to start having new dreams again, and I want to smile and mean it…
I want to start all over.. Again…